Numb || An XXXtentacion fan-fiction

IV. Changes

Later on that day...

X.🖤

Believe it or not, I felt horrible today. Like complete shit. Someone actually wanted to be around me... wanted to actually be my friend and I scared her off because I wanted to be an asshole. 'Ugh what's wrong with me!?' My conscious screams.

Ima always be alone because I'm so used to it that it's all I want to do. But the more I'm alone...the more I fade away from existence. Cleo's right, maybe a friend is what I need. I need a change. Matter of fact, I'm gonna do something I've never done before.

I gotta save myself before it's too late. Now don't take this the wrong way, I'm not bouta change who I am for NOBODY. Just...small adjustments that could help take the pain away, at least for a while.

The Next Day...

Reagan.💙

So I've been pretty down and blue since yesterday after what happened with Jahseh. I officially gave up, I guess my kindness wasn't enough for him to show at least a little emotion (other than anger or annoyance). I was standing by my locker in the hallway with Kellis before class. She called herself trying to cheer me up, but she was only making it worse.

"Next time you'll listen to me when I try to warn you about someone! And don't let me run into his ass he gonna catch this while fade-"

"Kellis! That's enough. Just... let it go." I said. Kellis embraces me.

"Awe Reagan, I respect you so much for stepping out of your comfort zone to show someone how much of a big heart you have." She says. I half heartedly smile. Then everything gets quiet.

" Oh hell no..." Kellis trailed off.

"What?" I say before looking in the same direction she was looking. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was Jahseh.

"Hey...can I talk to you for a second?" He asks getting straight to the point once he reaches me. I just stare at him astonished and speechless. Kellis mugs him, flaring her nose at him.

"Uh..Uh sure." I stammer. He glares at Kellis.

"Alone." He adds. I turn to Kellis and give her a reassuring look. She nods her head and looks Jahseh up and down before walking off. I turn my attention back to Jahseh who's reaching in his backpack for something. He pulls out a small sunflower that looks like it's been smushed.

"I Uh...I got this for you..." he trails off before handing me the flower.

"Thanks." I reply very confused.

"Your name's Meagan right?"

"No...it's Reagan." I correct him.

" Reagan...cool name. I uh...I just wanted to apologize..you know...for yesterday. I tend to be an asshole towards everyone. I just...I'm not used to someone actually wanting to be around me." He explains. I'm so shocked I don't know what to say.

"Well I... I accept your apology jah-"

" Call me X." He says stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Okay X, well I accept your apology." I smiled. He smiles back, surprisingly. Who ever knew a smile could be so cute. He should really consider smiling more.

"Friends?" He sticks out his hand for me to shake. I grin at him.

"Friends." I say shaking his hand. The bell rings and we both groan.

"I guess we should head to class huh?" He nervously laughs.

"Yeah, c'mon X." I say. As unusual as it sounds we actually walked to class together.

X.🖤

"So what do you like to do other than listen to music, X?" Reagan joked as we walked the halls on our way to lunch. I scratch the back of my head.

"I draw. Might write a little every once in a while, what about you?"

"I like to do makeup..and Uh...sing."

"Not bad.." I trailed off.

"So..tell me more about yourself." I raise an eyebrow at her.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now. Maybe another time?" She gives me a weird look.

"Sure..."

"You got an iPhone?" I randomly blurted.

"Yea, why?"

"Let me see it." I say. She hesitates for a moment but then pulls her phone out of her bag and slides it to me. I let her put her passcode in before I put my number in her phone and save it. I give it back to her and she lightly smiles at me.

"So...what made you be so...different today?" She asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't normally talk or smile. Like never."

"It's just me and you right? I kinda thought that maybe I should lighten up a little and give this friendship shit a chance."

"I understand."

"You're basically the first and last person to ever see me like this." I confessed. Boy was I serious.

"I can understand that too." She shrugs. I stare at her for a while and she does the same.

"You have some really pretty eyes." She blurted. I lightly chuckled as her face turned red from embarrassment.

"Thanks. You do too." I say back to her.

"You seem so..."

"So what?"

"Different. It all seems so weird to me." I said.

"Why do you say that?" She asks.

"I don't really know...it's something about you that sticks out to me. You have this energy that I've never felt before. I'll probably figure it out the more we get to know each other." I said.

"Okay."

The bell rings and Reagan sighs.

"Last class if the day." She groans tiredly.

"Yea...well if you don't see me after this class you can hit me up. I'm always on my phone." I joked.

"Sure thing. Bye X." She says before walking away.

"Bye." I reply. I take a deep breath and exhale heavily. I can't believe my personality just did a whole 360 overnight. I wanna go back to being alone,but it's too late now. I guess I should try to step out of my comfort zone for once.

Starting with a simple friendship.

•••

I meant to update this chapter two days ago..but something came up so I've been pretty busy.

I see some of you guys have been sharing this book! I'm so grateful and happy, please keep it up! Anyways, new chapter will be published soon.

X in the MM.😍

Much love,

Driaa‼️