Hold Up

Remember that time you couldn't afford Netflix?

To future me or anyone that is doing alright and is complaining:

I want you to think back to this time in your life. You aren't in college anymore but you are somehow even more broke. You are writing this while sitting on an air mattress in a room with no ceiling light or lamp. Your clothes are in piles folded on the floor because you don't have a dresser yet. You are using your little sister's husband's Hulu account but he doesn't know you are using it. She said he might not be okay with it and you didn't ask why because you wanted to stop talking about the situation because you are so embarrassed. You can't pay the once-a-year fee for Amazon Prime so you had to cancel it. You just added interest to your student loan debt because you couldn't pay the first payment after the six month grace period even though you begged them to push the due date back. You are very concerned with what you and your dog will be eating the next nine days since that is how long it will be until you get paid. You have a very neat pile of tissues, hair, and q-tips in the bathroom since you don't have a trash can and use also decided to stop using plastic bags when going to the store. You could be at risk of getting Valley Fever because you can't afford to fix your AC in the car so your eyes sting from the dust that blows in and you're coughing a ton. You show up to work, church, dates, anywhere covered in sweat and tired from the burning sun coming through the window. Your nails are breaking off and the bruise on your knee refuses to go away until you buy anything that has protein. You keep your hair in a bun every. single. day. It's your least favorite hairstyle but your hair is so dry and damaged but you can't afford a haircut. Oh yeah, you also can't afford to buy contacts so your glasses are constantly sliding down your nose from all the sweat. You are choosing carefully which of the next nine days will get the last K cup and last vegan ice cream bar. You are trying to figure out how many days you can make a box of spaghetti last and if it's okay if Teddy eats black beans instead of dog food since he is about to run out tomorrow. 

Also, you are sitting next to the sweetest dog peacefully sleeping on your pillow. He was so excited when you came home earlier. You went to a new church and made two friends and plans with one to go to a Bible study Wednesday night. You had an amazing date with a really really cool guy that paid for the best vegan food you have ever had. You two connected on a lot. You cried out of happiness and sadness during worship earlier. You prayed so deeply and remembered Christ's sacrifice. You are listening to an amazing song over and over by Leon Bridges. You are beyond blessed right now. You are healthy. You have a car, a job, a hope in Heaven. Overall, it was an amazing day and money wasn't involved. So chill out.