Delicate (Just a Dream)

Is it cool that you're in my head?

Person 1

I lay my head down, to enter a slumber.

I see you once again.

I'm walking the halls during class, as usual. Skipping class and not getting caught, but somehow maintaining A's, is my speciality. I'm doing the usual, experiencing school from the outside, in. Seeing the kids in class, hearing the faded voices of teachers through the thick wooden doors, passing the janitors as they sweep up leftovers from lunch and peel gum off of the water fountains- It's rather interesting.

But something out of the norm happened.

I was walking on the outside of the building, along the sidewalk- enjoying nature- and as I'm walking you run past me, jogging towards the building. You didn't notice it was me, I see you and start speed walking, slowly getting faster, trying to catch up.

Then out of nowhere, the track/soccer coach/ math teacher starts doing excersises in front of me.

"You know" he says with his foreign accent, "if you want to get fit, you can do these exercises"

He had a headband on and was jogging in place, stopping me from moving forward. I look at him and say, in a hurry,

"Uh huh, okay, I'll do them"

Then I quickly run past him, watching you shrink as you run closer to the building. I run, as fast as I can, a jolt of energy rushes through my body and I'm running faster than usual, I had no idea why, I just had to.

I reach my way to you, out of breath, you glance at me and try to ignore the fact you know me, but it's written on your face that the sight of me has altered your emotions.

You open the door for me, then I open the second door for you, like usual strangers would. We share an awkward

"Ah, thanks"

With a nod of our heads as we enter the building. We're walking now, down the halls you once roamed. I try to act casual,

"How have you been?"

I mentally face palm myself and tell myself I'm such an awkward fool, what kind of question is that? You don't ask the person- you hurt- that question after not seeing them for a while.

"Uh, good. College and stuff"

"Ah, yeah" I say.

"So uh, what are you doing out of your class?" You ask, trying to make small talk- either that or be nice and not run off.

"Skipping, like usual" I respond, then I emphasize the words "you know me" with a slight and awkward chuckle following.

"You're gonna get in trouble"

You say, appearing to not care. But isn't that how all damaged people talk to the people who broke them?

I shrug it off

"who cares, haven't been caught yet"

I look up at you for a second, not much has changed.

"What are you doing here" I wonder.

"I wanted to see all my old teachers" you said.

"Sounds like a good idea" I responded, feeling invasive.

"Yeah"

You said causally, but with a very slight grin.

" you should get to class, you don't need to get in trouble, I might be blamed for it, if you get caught."

Hearing that stung and brought back the awful memories of me blaming you for my sadness. Telling you you weren't good enough and would never understand.

I hate myself for that.

"Okay" I say, feeling guilty.

"It was good to see you" I say, forcing a smile- you seem convinced.

"Thanks" you respond.

I part away and walk to that god awful Biology class.

I'm such an idiot, I thought as I opened the door to class from the back, and snuck into my huge class without notice,

She never took attendance anyways.

P.s. I dont have any pictures for this stuff, so all of the pictures are just random selfies of me, at random points in life.

Also, I've only had 2 dreams with this specific person. So the story is short, for now. If I have anymore, I'll write them down in this online journal.

Another also, I've noticed, that in these 2 dreams, she is running, but then she sees me and she stops, or slows down. That can be taken one of two ways:

She's running after goals, shes doing good, nothing can slow her down, then some bum ass kid like me interferes and fucks that cycle up.

Or:

She's running because she has to hurry and do that next thing, she's in her own zone, and only thinking about what she needs to do next, rushing through life. Then she sees me and either A) realizes she needs to slow down and enjoy life or B) I'm a stone on her path, and I've tripped her up.

Either way, I feel awful for slowing her down. I'm super exhausted, goodnight.