Delicate (Just a Dream)

Just weird

Person 2/ Person 1

This dream was all over the place, and I think writing about my other dreams last night triggered this one.

Btw the "you" I write to, is the person. In this case, it's person 2.

I lay my head down, to enter a very unexplainable slumber.

I'm in a bath tub, one I dont recognize. The bathroom is beautiful, I pull the shower curtain closed and lay down to relax.

"Good" thoughts come to my mind- that never happens. I wanted them to be louder, easier to hear. I'm trying to remember where my volume buttom is, but I cant. Then I look at my inner thigh and see it, a stretch mark looking part of my skin. I rub my finger upwards along the line, and my thoughts are turned up. As I'm beginning to enjoy these thoughts, I hear my brother burst in and say

"Get out, I gotta take a shit"

It's a good thing the curtain was closed.

I get out of the bath when he's gone, not being able to "fully enjoy" those thoughts, but that's normal, it kinda sucks. When I'm dressed I step outside and see you. You look pretty damn good if I'm being honest. You've shaved your hair down to nothing but buzz, which is very shocking, and trimmed your beard to a (still bushy) but tamed one.

"Wanna go eat somewhere?" You ask. "We should talk about everything"

but I knew he was using that as an excuse to be around me. He lets me still send him music, that I know he hates, because it's an excuse to talk- even if we're talking about songs that, he thinks, suck.

"Sure"

I respond, as emotions start to flood through my system, making it want to shut down.

"Okay"

We walk into the Stevi B's I work at and I mention that he can get a half off discount for being "my family" even though he's not. He pretends to be my dad, and we go sit at a table where some of his models were, she (Person 1)  was one of them. I sit down, feeling very uncomfortable and he says

"I've been doing good recently, these models here are pretty awesome, but I do want the full story on why you did what you did."

I was looking at her while she looked down, with a sad expression but still heard what he said. I looked at him, feeling bad for what I did to him, and I wanted to tell him the truth, but I don't want to fuck shit up with the model he has, but she's not at the table.

"It wasn't the truth" is all I could say.

"She (not person 1) lied to you"

"What do you mean?" You asked, looking confused but also mad.

I spilled.

"She fucking lied, I didn't say any of that shit!! NONE OF IT! I told her that, yes, sometimes I felt uncomfortable around you, but that it was because of shit from my past."

I was feeling all sorts of emotions at this point, anger and sadness tying for number one.

"She started going off about how you made her take nudes when she didn't want to, and she had to have her boyfriend start coming to shoots and how you made her uncomfortable too!"

"I told her VERBATUM, word for word, 'he hasn't done anything like that with me really, I just didnt want to do a pose against a pole and he got mad'"

"I thought NOTHING of it though, I was just tired that day and wasn't feeling it. I would've done it another day"

You're looking shocked

"She told me some shit about "mama bear mode" and SHE told ME you we're manipulating me into thinking I had no reason to be uncomfortable, I told her 'he doesn't even know I feel this way'"

"That alone, was me slowly being pulled onto her side, I DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY!"

"At times I was uncomfortable but I even told person 1 that I would've thought she was gonna rape me if blah blah blah, and she's straight, as far as I'm concerned!!"

I'm claming down but still angry

"She has experienced my unreasonable thoughts too! It's not just you, it's my fucking mind."

I'm beginning to feel sadness fight it's way to the top,

"I never believed EITHER of you would actually rape me though, that's why I kept going to y'alls houses and hanging out with y'all, YES I had thoughts like that maybe twice with her, and like 4 times with you"

I say

"But I stuck around, because I knew the way I was feeling was bullshit. I was training my brain to know that I CAN trust people. Not everyone is out to hurt me and use me, just because that's how it was in my past"

I can feel tears coming to the surface,

"If you don't want to believe me, don't. I never told you this because you already made up your mind, and I didn't want to start shit between you and your other model"

You take in everything I said and say nothing. Instead you point to the pizza and say

"It's really bullshit they don't put more bacon on this"

I don't know whether you believed me or not, but you were ignoring everything I said.

"I'll go tell my manager to make us a special pizza with a shit ton of bacon"

I get up from the table, suddenly feeling nothing. He felt nothing, obviously, so I should too. I walk up to my manager

"Hey can you make a cheese and bacon pizza with a lot of bacon?" I ask with a smile

"No" she says annoyed.

I feel a little embarrassed for asking now.

"You okay?" I ask

"No, only the worst workers are on shift right now, none of them do anything and I'm pissed." She tells me.

"Oh, I say, well I'm sorry. You should punch them" I told her

She smiled.

I walked back to the table and she (person 1) was gone, you smile, knowing you brought her there on purpose. The smile wasn't an evil one, but an "I knew this would help" one. I guess it's time for closure, this is my time to apologize for everything.

"Where is she?" I asked

"Bathroom he said"

I walked towards the bathroom and I was suddenly in a...house? There were rooms all over the place....they were all bathrooms. I'm searching for her, seeing open bathroom doors, opening closed ones when theres no response to my knock. Then I saw her walk into one, I walk into it and -

I woke up. But I can assume I apologize and she tells me how much she hates me and I tell her sorry, then she cries a little I cry a little for hurting her and we go eat more pizza. Typical closure? Not really, but I can assume that's how the dream would have ended if I kept sleeping.

I'm leaving for work right this minute, which is why I had to wake up. So no time to proof read, sorry.

Enjoy this weird ass dream.