The kidnapper...(completed)

Chapter 18

* 4 years later*

"Mommy!! Josh won't leave me alone!" I hear my 4 year old daughter Sofia yell at me and jumping in my arms just as josh came running in here in the kitchen grabbing my legs. I put Sofia down and asked " what's the problem here exactly?"
Josh answered first.

" I was bored and I wanted to play with her, but she doesn't want to anything so I just kept poking her in the arm until she agrees to play ." He told me sounding sad.

( josh and Sofia are both 4 and are identical twins)

I looked at Sofia and saw her looking down.

" Sofia why don't you want to play with your brother?"  She looked up and had tears in her eyes.
" where's daddy mommy? I miss him so much!" My baby girl tells me now full on sobbing. This is something I've been dreading telling my kids. I see Josh too now crying and hugged Sofia. I smiled as best as I could trying not to cry right then and there.

"Daddy's in heaven and is watching of you my sweet babies." I tapped both of my fingers at their heart and said " daddy will always be here in your heart and he loves you so so much never forget that okay?" I couldn't hold it anymore I cried and hugged them while seeing they still don't  really understand, but nodded their little heads yes to me.

*flashback  to one year ago before Jesse died*

We had kori watch our kids while we strolled down the park holding hands having this one day of relaxation was really nice and  now we are going back home Just as we crossed the street I hear a a gun shot. I felt Jesse's hand in mine go limb and I looked at him and noticed blood pouring out of his stomach. I fell down sobbing. I grabbed his hand tightly holding on and on repeat I said
" no no no Jesse stay with me. You're not dying on me do you understand me! We have 2 kids waiting at home for us and you are not going to make them father less. Stay with me Jesse please don't leave me. I love you so much!" I cried. He opened his eyes and looked at me smiling saying softly " look after them for me baby okay? I love you and I love our kids please don't ever forget that!" Then he closed his eyes and that's when the ambulance came and took Jesse from my arms putting in in a stretcher I run to them before they can stop me I tell them that's my husband and they let me inside. I grab Jesse's hand not letting him go. Jesse can't die he just can't. I won't be able to survive without him. I need him. I prayed to god to keep him alive and still breathing. We got to the hospital and they ran fast moving him to the ER not letting me go through making me stay back and wait in the waiting room.

* 6 hours later*

" Mrs. Underhill?" I got up hearing my name looking at the doc who called my name and went up to him. He looked at me sadly. Just as asked
" how is he? Can I go see him?"

"Miss I'm sorry to inform you this I really am, but your husband didn't make it. He's dead."

And that's when I lost it.

*flashback over *

I called kori and told her if she can watch my kids and ran upstairs when I heard her come in. I stayed in our bedroom(Jesse's and mine) and just lied down and cried and cried and cried. I never got over Jesse I never moved on I just couldn't. I never stopped loving Jesse. I've been depressed since the day I got the news at the hospital. I just never show it around my kids. I know it's bad for me and should move on with my life just as everyone is telling me , but I can't I just can't. I feel like I would betray him in a way and I feel like he's still alive out there. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I just believe he's out there somewhere lost and I need to find him or I'll end up going crazy.