I groaned out in frustration as I tried for at least the fifteenth time to fasten my jeans. I turned to my side and glanced at myself in the mirror, my hand running gently along my belly. Today my entire family and I are going over to the Jonas' and I am currently finding it hard to find something to wear. I have tried on at least 5 pairs of jeans and none of them fit. I dropped down onto the ottoman in the centre of my closet and yanked the jeans off my legs, throwing them to the floor with a scream of frustration. I'm 12 weeks and I already don't fit in my own clothes.
"What are we going to wear, Baby?" I ran my hand along my belly. "Your daddy is going to be here in 10 minutes, and I don't have anything to wear" I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, tears threatening to roll down my cheeks. I glanced around my closet, not moving from the ottoman as I tried to deal with the fact that I'm slowly putting on weight.
I ignored the doorbell as it rang.
"DEMI?" I sniffled and quickly wiped at my cheeks, tuning out the footsteps that slowly grew louder. "Dems?" I swallowed the lump from my throat as my eyes landed on Nick. "Hey, what's the matter? Why aren't you dressed?" I couldn't care less that I'm only in my bra and panties.
"I-I can't find anything to wear."
"Demi, have you seen the size of your closet?"
"Nothing fits, Nick. I'm too fat" my voice raised in frustration.
"Demi, look at me?" I looked anywhere but at him, tears pouring down my cheeks. "D, look at me?" he took a gentle hold of my chin and turned my head, so I was looking directly at him. "You're not fat, Demi" he gently wiped the pad of his thumb along my cheek, wiping away my fallen tears. "Our baby is growing in here" it took a lot for me to ignore the tingles that ran through my body as his hand settled on my waist, his thumb running along my bump. "You're gonna grow, D. You're gonna put on weight, but that weight is helping to grow our miracle" I sniffled and swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat at his words. "Is this your hormones starting? Is this what I have to look forward too?" I sent him a glare and lightly him on the arm as he chuckled. "You want me to pick out something for you to wear?" I chewed down on my lip and shrugged. I watched Nick as he wondered around my closet, eventually pulling out a summer dress. "Here. It's warm enough outside for you to wear this."
"Thanks" he pressed a kiss to the top of my head before he left the closet so that I could change.
-
I nervously played with my fingers, my leg shaking as Nick pulled into the driveway of his parents LA home. It's unusual that they're here as they spend most of their time in New Jersey. I jumped when I felt a hand on my thigh, glancing to Nick who briefly glanced at me as he brought his car to a stop.
"Please, stop bouncing your leg" I dropped my head back against the seat with a sigh. "Why are you even nervous, D? You know how much my parents adore you" I chewed on my lip as I glanced down at my hands.
"It's the first time that I'm seeing them since they found out that I'm carrying their grandchild. Nick, I'm messed up. There's a chance that our child could have a mental illness and I..." Nick took my hands as he turned to face me all while I tried to hold back my tears.
"And I will still love him or her unconditionally. Demi, there's a chance they could develop diabetes too but I'm not dwelling on that. Whatever happens will happen but that isn't going to affect how much we love them, is it?" I shook my head, glancing briefly away from Nick. "My parents love you and they're going to love this baby just as much because they're a product of us, Dems" I gave his hands a squeeze and we shared a smile. "Come on, they're gonna wonder why it's taking so long for us to get out the car" I released a low chuckle before I climbed from the car. My heart just pounded harder as we approached the front door but the instant that Denise wrapped me up in her arms, I felt at home. I felt safe.
"Sweetheart, you look so radiant. You're glowing" she pulled from the hug and stoked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Thanks" I felt my cheeks gently burn.
"Your parents are in the living room already" I nodded. Nick followed behind me as I stepped into the living room, instantly hugging the first person that I came too.
"Hi Joseph."
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"How's my little niece or nephew treating you?" the smile on my face widened as I glanced down, my hand caressing my stomach. It made it more obvious under the dress.
"So far so good" I glanced briefly to Nick who sent me a small smile. I don't want anybody else to know about the mental breakdown I had earlier. "Hi Momma" I dropped down onto the couch beside her and wrapped my arms around her neck in a tight embrace.
"Hi Baby" she pressed a kiss to my cheek as I pulled away and I turned to Maddie who instantly attacked me in a hug.
"Hi Baby Girl" we gave each other a squeeze as we hugged. Doing the job that I do means that I don't get to see my family as often as I wish I could. That's the hardest part about being a celebrity.
-
"What are you going to do about tour? It starts up in two weeks, right?" Denise questioned as she lowered herself down onto the couch beside Paul. I glanced briefly to Nick who was staring down at his hands.
"I've discussed it briefly with my tour team and the wardrobe department, but I don't see any issue to why I can't perform. I just can't push myself as much as I did on the American leg."
"How long is it for?"
"It starts on May 24th and finishes June 27th. I'm back for my twenty week scan so hopefully we'll be able to find out whether we have a mini me or a mini Nick" I spoke, hoping that I'd get some sort of reaction out of Nick but all he managed was a small smile. To everyone else, he probably looked fine, but I know him better than to think that he's fine.
"You don't think you'll be pushing yourself?"
"I'll know when I need to slow down, Nick" he nodded, glancing down at his hands, falling silent once again.
