Letters To My Loves

1. You and Me

Forgetting. It's a hard thing to accomplish but you come close when you're partying all the time. Just to keep me off your mind, partying to see if meeting new people will help you forget me and all we had. You try to make it seem that you have moved on but we both know, you haven't. You take your Adderall with cheap wine just to function at these events. You did always think parties were pointless and irrelevant, you'd rather stay at home and watch movies. Using you medication to help keep your mind off everything and trying to fulfill yourself. I know you still have feelings for me but you're ignoring them, pushing them down rather than dealing with them, just as you did when we were together. We always doubted ourselves and didn't believe we could be something great and do something incredible in our city but I know you won't come back to me.

Things are better for me since we broke up. I was struggling to find who I was when I was with you but now I'm more motivated than ever to find myself. I'm sorry but it's true. You didn't really give me anything throughout this relationship but a good time. You gave me an illusion of stability and a future but that's all it was an illusion. We were just to kids when we met, lust was all it was not love. I love you but I'm not in love with you.

Our relationship has completely fallen apart, you being unfaithful and me able to get any girl I want, there's no future. Too much has changed for this to be rebuilt. I was wrong and hard headed but I know that now. You held us down for a time until you got with him. Out of everybody in the world, it didn't have to be him. That was my homie, I introduced y'all. It's sad it ended in drama, anger, and frustration, you throwing all my stuff out even though it was you in the wrong. Remember when we met? Just two kids from The Bay living our best lives, going dumb. Those are some of my best memories. At a time I thought I was the one for you but now you got a new one.

We have mutual friends so I know I'll see you again, I just don't know when or where. There are people who break up and never see each other again but I know with us it's inevitable, we just have to be civil about it. Cause it's not 'us' anymore, it's just you and me, strangers in passing. Until we met again.