Letters To My Loves

3. Marilyn

You wanted to love me but I made it impossible for you. You said my actions made you feel helpless cause you were unable to love me, not everything works out. You always said get some sleep, sleep it off, so to speak as if things would get better tomorrow.

I wish we could've been as picture perfect as the Kennedy's, despite the affairs and dishonesty. Jackie knew of JFK's affairs just as you knew of mine but ignorance is bliss. Life is short and I tried not to fuck it all up, I tried to hold it all together. That moment was temporary but our memories are forever. There was a lot of miscommunication between us and that's one thing I wish we could've fixed. You walked away but haven't found anything better than me yet, I am the best you ever had. I hope you remember all we had, I left the camera as a reminder of the moments. Upsetting you always led to an argument in public as loud as a B.I.G. sweater. Your argument was that I was gone but what did you expect from me as a musician, I was always on the road.

It was hard but maybe at some point in the future we can meet again and it will all work out for us. You called me a pig like I was one of them and yeah maybe I am an asshole but I never intentionally meant to hurt you even if it seemed that way. Temptation always leads to bad decisions especially when I'm intoxicated. You never sat down to let me explain, I knew what I did was wrong and I had all the excuses in the world but I only wish you would've let me explain.

Arguing more than normal on that last night we should've let it all out and said everything we wanted. I should've taken that opportunity to show you that I never hurt you on purpose, I did truly love you and you should've done the same. Forget everything that happened in the past for one night before it ended.

Everything will be alright in the morning....