I thought it was over. The pain I had to fight. But it just comes back giving all its might. I thought I saw the light. I thought I was free. I thought I could be me. But no it all comes back. I thought i was back to the old me. No. The pain still follows me. It wont let me free. I know I'm loved I know I'm cared for. But will it help me? Will i be like like this forever? I don't know. All I know is that I've fought for to long. I want this all to be gone. I'm done with nightmares. I'm done with the fear of being forgotten.I'm done hiding. I need to know that I will be ok. Was this all a phase? Will I be ok? What will make my life change? I admit ive fucked up a couple times and I'm sorry. I'm sorry i wasn't there when all of you needed me. I'm sorry that I didnt save everyone like I promised. I had to put this out here so you guys could see. What really is happening to me. I wanna be free. I wanna be me. I don't wanna be trapped in my mind when the only way out is a bottle. The bottle that stops everything. The bottle that never worked. Those medicines never worked. I know I might get yelled at for stating my opinion but I have kept it in for to long i have a voice and im gonna use it. I have thought about choices my family and friends have made but I've kept them to myself I wanna talk about it but I can't or ill hurt someone. I'm done with the crying. I'm done done with the thoughts of harm. I'm done! I wanna be me who I really am not who you want me to be. I love who I am and that's important to me. Sorry if this hurts anyone. I'm not being quiet anymore.
