N I N E T E E N

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I could barely sleep; my excitement was keeping my up. I woke up exceptionally early to open up the shop and tend to the animals. I took an early shift and worked my way through the day, trying to kill time and distract myself before Luca's train arrived this afternoon.

As much as I would have loved to smother him in hugs and kisses the second he got here, I knew that wasn't possible. He had a family, too. A family who missed him just as much as I did. So, once he texted me of his arrival (so I knew he got here safely), I had to continue waiting until his family were content enough to let him leave.

They had dinner together at a fancy restaurant where I'm sure his mother bugged him for every little detail about his life. And finally, when he was free of all his commitments, he showed up at my doorstep.

I practically leapt into his arms, nearly tackling him to the ground as I hugged him so tightly, he was bound to run out of oxygen. He laughed, stumbling back to try and regain his balance as he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me back. Once we finally pulled away, I barely had enough time to take in his features before my lips were captured in a desperately passionate kiss.

I laughed into his mouth as he quickly deepened the kiss, humming against my lips and tugging me impossibly closer. When we were thoroughly out of breath, we reluctantly pulled back and Luca scanned me up and down. "Holy shit, Theo." He chuckled. "Your hair..." He ran his fingers through the glossy locks with an amused smile, "I love it."

"I love you." I said without hesitation, grinning widely.

His smile only grew as his hands fell to my hips and he pulled me closer, "I love you, too." He murmured against my lips.

I giggled and pulled away before he could kiss me, slipping my fingers through his and dragging him into the house. My parents showered him with compliments and pestered him about his course before Milo finally spoke up. My brother was politer than I expected though still didn't pass up the opportunity to verbally abuse my boyfriend. When he asked him if he still had chlamydia, I rolled my eyes and yanked Luca upstairs.

The second the door shut and the lock slid into place, I wrapped my arms around the nape of his neck and kissed him hard, a sense of longing shadowing the action. He kissed me back but the second I tried to take it a step further, he pulled away, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. My brows twitched into a faint, curious frown, "I-Is everything okay?"

He fell back against the door, his hands enveloping mine as a dulcet smile snuck onto his expression, "Everything's great. Perfect." He assured me. "But I want us to talk before we...you know, do anything."

My brows rose in surprise before I nodded, "Sure." I beamed, "What about?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. You. Your life. We haven't been talking much recently, I feel like I don't know anything about what's going on with you." He told me honestly before his eyes fell down to study my body, "Are you wearing a t-shirt?" He asked quizzically.

I chuckled, glancing down at my outfit. I was wearing a pair of denim dungarees with tattered patches littering the legs. And underneath, I was wearing a short sleeved white top. "A-Are you losing your vision?"

He rolled his eyes, his fingers looping into the straps draped over my shoulders, "I've just never really seen you in short sleeves." He mused, his eyes trained on my arms as his hands trailed down to caress my wrists.

I gulped, my smile faltering as I forced my attention onto his face and not his hands. "D-Do you think I shouldn't wear it?" I asked nervously.

His dark eyes snapped up to my face immediately, "No, I love it." He promised sternly. "Really, Theo, I do. I love...everything. New clothes?"

I nodded, my happy smile slowly reemerging. "Mhm."

He turned around, presumably to head for the bed, when he flinched and cursed in Dutch. "Jesus, I almost forgot about that fucking snake."

I laughed, grabbing Luca's old leather jacket off the floor and draping it over the glass tank, obscuring his view of her. "B-Better?"

He still looked a little uneasy, but slightly calmer. "A bit." He admitted. "It'd be better if she just like...evaporated altogether, but I guess this'll have to do."

I hopped onto my small single bed, pulling my legs up so I was sat cross legged as Luca perched beside me. "How's uni?"

He nodded slowly and shrugged, "It's okay. It's hard. I'm glad to be back here for a little while."

"I-I'm glad you're back too."

"So, how was hospital?" He asked tenderly, his fingers knotting together as if he was nervous.

"The f-first time or the second?" I whispered.

"Both." He replied quietly. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here when...you know..."

"When I cut myself?" I supplied gently, earning a small nod in return. "It's okay, L-Luca. You'd only just left."

"But I should've come back. I'm sorry." He said. He sounded angry at himself, like he'd been regretting the choice he made for weeks.

"It's okay." I murmured softly, resting a hand lightly on his knee. "I-I'm okay."

Luca sighed heavily before shifting so his back was leant up against the wall, his legs hanging over the side of my bed. "And the second time?"

I shuffled to sit beside him, my head resting on his shoulder, our hands connected in his lap. "I-It was scary. At first." I told him softly. "But it got better. Things always get better."

I felt his chest vibrate with a lightly amused chuckle, "I'm glad. Are you happy?"

"Yeah." I breathed out honestly. "I-I'm happy. I mean, I'm on a ton of meds and I'm always tired and I'm always f-feeling ill and I can't drink..." I trailed off, my voice falling silent as I realised I was rambling. "B-But it's okay. Because I don't hate myself so much. And I don't want to cut all the time. And I-I don't get as many suicidal thoughts."

Luca squeezed my hand gently, his thumb tracing shapes on my scarred wrist. "I'm so proud of you, baby." He whispered, kissing the top of my head affectionately. "Oh, hey, I got you a present. Think of it as an early Christmas gift. I'll give you your real one later."

I frowned, moving to swing a leg over Luca's side, straddling his lap as I draped my arms around his shoulders. "Y-You didn't have to do that."

He leant forward to peck me on the cheek before digging his hand into his pocket. He retrieved a thick card lined with an orange rim, numbers and letters littering the surface. My eyes widened once I read the destination, "Y-You got me a train ticket?"

"Yeah, I thought you could come up during the next half term. I made sure you wouldn't miss any school because I know how you-"

He couldn't finish his sentence before I crashed my lips into his, kissing him desperately for a few long moments. He didn't have time to respond before I pulled back, smiling joyfully. "Fuck. I love you. Thank you." I stammered. "Y-You didn't have to do this, those tickets aren't cheap and-"

I yelped as he grabbed my waist and tackled me onto the bed, kissing me fiercely until I melted to his touch and quit protesting.

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