Battle Scars [BxB]

T W E N T Y F O U R

Daisy was trotting along beside me, consistently quickening and slowing her pace accordingly in order to match my speed. The peppy border collie glanced up at me with admiration every few moments, as if checking to see I was still there. I didn't bother with a lead anymore. She was so well behaved, I knew she'd never run off and leave me screaming her name in desperation.

When we finally reached the park, I froze by the gate, noticing an incredibly familiar dog. The dog who had brought Luca to me.

Bugsy was bounding through the park, trying to steal other dogs' toys and little kids' snacks. I laughed faintly, and scanned the grounds for his owner. I was expecting to see one of Luca's parents, but instead, I spotted his little sister, waving me over with a friendly smile. Vera was nearly twelve now, her silky black hair woven into plaits, falling past her shoulders.

"Hey, Teddy." She smiled. "How are you?"

"I-I'm good thanks." I replied, joining her on the bench, twirling Daisy's lead between my fingers as she bolted off to roll around with her best friend - the young black lab. "What about you?"

She nodded halfheartedly and I could tell something was bothering her. Anyone could work that one out. "Yeah." She let out a noncommittal grumble. Her accent was weaker than Luca's; more diluted. She was only young when they left the Netherlands, her whole life had been here, in England. "Do you miss him?"

I sighed, leaning back on the bench, watching a couple walking by hand and hand, laughing and staring into each other's eyes. They were each other's world. Anyone could tell with one simple look. Maybe they'd get married and start a family one day. They'll probably get a dog and name it after a character from their favourite book. They'll probably paint a nursery together, chatting excitedly about their new baby. And maybe they'll get divorced. Maybe they'll fall out of love.

But for now, they were merely a couple walking in the park, enjoying each other's company.

"Yeah." I finally murmured back. "Yeah, I miss him."

"Me too." Vera replied quietly. "Is Luca really gay?" She blurted out. It was so sudden and unexpected, I had no choice but to assume this was something that had been bothering her for a long time. She glanced across at me, and her eyes turned down in sadness, "I'm sorry, I just...sometimes, I get confused by it all."

"I-It's okay." I assured her. "What makes you ask that?"

"It's just...some girls at school make fun of me because of Luca. They said it's unnatural for him to have a boyfriend."

I paused for a moment, pulling my eyes off the happy couple to stare up at the clear blue sky, tightening my jacket around my trembling body. "Do you think that?"

"No! No, not at all." She promised quickly. "When I found out Luca was dating a boy, I didn't really think it mattered. He was happy and he was in love. He's never been in love before." She admitted honestly. "I was happy he was happy."

"L-Look, Vera. People say a lot of things that aren't true. People think it's unnatural for me to l-like guys. I think it'd be even more unnatural to force myself to like girls. I'd be pretty miserable." I shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with d-dating whoever you like, as long as they're not murderers or pedophiles." I winked.

She smiled up at me, then turned back to the park spread out before us and frowned. "They always use the Bible as an excuse."

"Do you believe in God?"

"I don't know. Maybe. My parents don't, I've never even been to church. But what if there is a god, and Luca gets in trouble because...?" She trailed off, turning her attention to her lap guiltily, "Sorry."

"E-Even if there was a god, don't you think he'd be forgiving? I-I mean, that's kinda his whole thing, isn't it? Forgiving people, loving people...no matter their sexuality."

"I guess." She sighed deeply. "My friends just don't understand."

"Get better friends." I teased.

She grinned lightly, casting her eyes to her energetic dog, tackling Daisy to the ground. They both toppled onto the grass, paws flying, ears flopping, tongues hanging. Both Vera and I laughed, continuing to watch our pets. "Teddy, are you okay?" She asked abruptly. "It's just that, well...I know you've been in hospital but no one will tell me why."

I frowned, adjusting on the cold, damp bench to face her. "N-No one told you?"

She shook her head. "My parents are always talking about you. And not in a bad way, honest. They sound sad, like they're talking about a dead person."

I bit my lip and sighed, "Some people a-assume that you're too young to understand certain things."

"But I'm not."

"I know." I smiled softly.

"Can you tell me?"

"I was struggling." I said simply. "W-With depression and self harm. I-I used to hurt myself a lot."

"Why?" She asked, her dark eyes growing wide with alarmed shock.

I gulped down a lump building in my throat. It was as if my body was urging me to shut up and stop talking. But this was my story, and I didn't want anyone else to tell it. "P-People with depression hurt themselves sometimes. I was scared I might do something serious, so I a-asked my parents to get me help." I explained. "The doctors in hospital gave me meds and made sure I was okay. And I am. I-I'm cured."

That wasn't totally true. I would never be completely cured. But this was as close as I was going to get.

Vera watched me, her expression unreadable and full of confusion. Then she shuffled over and wrapped her thin arms around my torso, hugging me tightly.