Moving On (Peter Pan X Reader ft. TMR: Newt)

Chapter 23

A/N: Just like with what I did on Chapter 18, I'll add a few lines of the song titled Close The Door by Beth Crowley. It's part of the playlist I'm making for this book that you'll see in the ending of the book.

"This is wrong. Everything here is just wrong." The words that flew out of my mouth were the words that kept on repeating in my head when I first got here. When I realized the mistake I've made.

I could see the hurt look that Newt had in his eyes and it just made me more guilty. I groaned in frustration because of the mess I've gotten myself into. Peter said that the desire of my heart will be granted, but if it's what my heart wants, why am I still miserable?

"I'm sorry," I held Newt's hand. I feel like I just messed everything up. I keep on hurting everyone. "I'm so sorry."

"Are you saying you don't want me anymore?"

I could hear the hurt in his voice and it just broke my heart more. Why is it that I had to choose between my best friend and the boy that I loved? Choosing Peter was a better choice because he was still alive, or at least I hope he is. He still had a life to live, but Newt was long gone and was just alive in both my mind and heart.

"Don't say that Newt," I wrapped my arms around him. "I always want you. I'll always need you. But there was someone out there who needed me and I let him down. There was someone who I needed to save and I wasn't able to."

"So what do you plan to do?"

Newt's question got me to freeze for a moment and made me let go of him. All that time saying that I was in the wrong world, that I made the wrong wish, but I didn't even think of a plan of how to get back.

"I don't know," I replied. "I don't know." I laughed bitterly to myself. "I can't think of a way to get back. I can't think of a way to reverse the wish. This is the land without magic," I remembered what Peter called my world.

"Then how'd you get there in the first place?"

I was biting my nails which was a habit that I picked up from Newt so long ago. I haven't done it until now again, but then I stopped when Newt asked another brilliant question.

"The Shadow," I breathed out. "Holy shuck! The Shadow!" Filled with so much delight and hope, I ran to Newt and kissed him on his forehead. "Come on!" I held his hand and we were running once again.

"Where are we going?"

"To the mountain!"

Newt followed me as I dragged him towards the mountain. The mountain that I jumped from to kill myself. The mountain that Peter and I had been on when he was trying to make me feel better. Newt didn't show any sign of discomfort as we ran and I noticed that even his leg was fixed. That brought a smile to my face.

When we started to climb towards the mountain, I could feel a strong gust of wind blowing out of the way. But instead of feeling scared like before, I've never felt so alive. When I looked at Newt, he seemed a little scared because of the strong wind that could blow us away. But he still held my hand and followed me to the top. My heart melted when I realized that he still trusted me and would follow me even if he was scared.

When we reached the top, the both of us sat right at the exact spot where Peter and I sat in my mind.

"The Shadow brought me to Neverland since it deemed me worthy of ruling it. So when I jumped off this cliff to kill myself," I saw Newt's eyes widened at what he just heard but didn't say anything to interrupt me, "the Shadow brought me to Neverland. Maybe he could bring me back. With you," I took Newt's hand in mine. But he pulled it away.