The Last Lieutenant

The Sand in the Hourglass is Running Thin

Once, back before this whole mess had really started, Vance had told her that she was going to be something great.

The first time he said it was on the night she took the dark mark. It was after, when everyone else had already left and Emmeline had retired to one of the guest rooms for the night, and he came to her room with a cauldron full of bubbling potion. He held it out to her like a peace offering.

"It's going to hurt for a while. I can't make that go away from you." He had stood in the doorway like he wasn't quite sure if he was going to be allowed in the room, and that hurt, too, because there was a time where Audra could remember him being the one person she trusted most in the world. "But this can numb it for a while."

She had let him, because Audra had been strong for everyone else these past few weeks and for once, she wanted someone to take care of her. Now she thinks it was a mistake to let him go on believing that he was her protector.

"I've never killed anyone before." She couldn't get it out of her head, those first few nights, and kept batting at her knees to get rid of the feel of phantom fingers. Audra wouldn't have been surprised if the man she killed came back to haunt him. "Does it ever get easier?"

"I wouldn't know." He does not look at her but he says it like the admission makes him some type of coward. "I never had to."

"Then why did I?"

"Because you're better than me. Stronger. Than all of us, really." Vance finally tears his eye away from her arm and the dark mark painted onto it in order to stare at her face. He puts his fingers under her chin to lift her head up so she can look him in the eyes. There's no jealousy there, not from him, only a fierce kind of pride. "And he knows it."

"I don't think being able to kills someone makes you strong." Audra had whispered the words at the time and still they made her nervous, what a sign of weakness could do to her now. "I think it tears you apart."

"But you did what you needed to. That's what makes people strong. Every good leader needs to be willing to do what it takes to win." Is this winning? It didn't feel like it. "You're going to be the best of us."

"I never wanted to be the best."

"But you are." He was angry, then, angry that she had this gift and didn't even want it. "You're going to be his righthand man, Audra Stanton. Mark my words."

He wasn't wrong. The only thing he said that didn't come true was that he thought he would always be standing by her side to protect her.

She gets all sorts of jobs after she stole the book in Egypt. Some of them are easy, some of them are hard, but they all involve other people getting hurt so she can do the Dark Lord's bidding.

"Please." She has to lean across the table to keep from being heard. Across from her, Snape narrows his eyes and motions to Rosmerta for another drink. "I don't want to do this anymore."

"Getting tired?" His lip curled up at her. "Bored, perhaps? Task not to your liking? You accepted this assignment, Audra."

"I didn't. Not this." She taps her knuckles too hard on the table and draws a few anxious stares. "You knew that I had no idea it was going to be like."

"I did try to tell you." Just when she thinks he is going to send her away, Snape softens. "Dumbledore is confident that you'll only have to be there for a little while longer. You just have to hang on, Audra."

"And how many more people will I have hurt before Dumbledore decides to include me in his master plan?" She digs her nails into the wood and feels it splinter. "I could just walk away."

"No. Because that leaves people vulnerable. Your parents. Emmeline. Even the twins." Snape's voice was a drawl, like she was just a child throwing a tantrum that he had been given the task of reasoning with. "Everyone will be at risk if you leave."

"They're at risk if I stay. You can't protect anyone."

"Only yourself? Is this what this is?"

"I'm helping him win." She leans in even further, drops her voice lower. "And we both know it."

"Not," He said, standing to throw a few galleons down on the table. It's a generous tip. "Not according to Dumbledore." Snape sweeps off towards the door and Audra tries to follow, knocked aside by tables and other patrons. She makes it to the street just in time to see Snape fastening his cloak around his shoulders.

"We did warn you that this would be quite the dangerous game, Audra." Snape raised a shoulder in an apologetic shrug. "We never said for who."

She gets another job, interrupting a prisoner transport.

Audra doesn't know who for until she's there. She had tipped the train off its track and rips the side of the car wide open like she's tearing open a tin can. It's a mess of bodies and she picks through all of them, circling around moaning men and reaching hands until she makes it to the back of the car, where a man is tied up in chains.

"Hey, Fenrir." She keeps her voice calm on purpose even though every cell in her body is telling her to turn around, that this man is more terrible than anyone else she had brushes elbows with, that she cannot justify letting him go. "You got plans for tonight?"

He raises his head, revealing lank hair and yellowing teeth and eyes that can see straight through the darkness, and Audra knows that he does not understand. "Bella?" He asks, and yanks forward, his arms straining against the iron that has kept him glued to the wall.

"My name's Audra." She comes closer, close enough that she can wrap her arms through the twisted mess of chains and lean in to be face to face with him. "And I'm here to set you free."

It's only when she gets home, Fenrir safely delivered to his den, that she realizes what day it is.

Valentines day.

"There was a gift for you. On your windowsill. I put it on your desk." Emmeline is sitting in the chair, clearly having waited all day for her to come home. "Got a secret admirer that I don't know about?"

Audra didn't answer, just walks over to stare at the little origami figure prowling around on her desk. It's her patronus- a panther. There's only one person in the world that knows what that is.

It was an incredibly risky move, something not worth the risk, but even so, she's grateful. She had been so worried, and this, finally, was proof that not only did he forgive her, Fred still loved her enough to risk getting caught over Valentine's day.

"Any idea who it is?"

Emmeline's voice brings Audra back to the present, and she swipes tears away from her eyes.

"No." She was good at lying, but not good enough. Emmeline knew, even if she wasn't going to say anything. "None at all."