Part 5

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Light hits my eyes. I blink them open against the assault. The surrounding room is pitch dark, except for the stream of light spotlighting me.

"It's time." Ana states.

Dread runs through my body. Carefully I stretch and stand to follow her. I always hated confession. They were a way to verbalize all the racing thoughts, confess mistakes and make tangible the release of failure through physical means rather than holding them inside.

Dominick is a master of the confession. One who can walk the line of finding the truth, even when it isn't clear. This time, however, I know exactly what I'm hiding.

Ana turns, walks down the hall and heads down the stairs. Without a word I follow. When we approach the French doors to Dominick's office, she makes the silent command to kneel. For a long second, I look at her incredulously, but she doesn't move.

Finally, I nod and kneel at the door entrance. Ana knocks on the door above me.

"Come." Dominick says behind the door and it opens in front of me. She steps inside and waits in silence.

"Thank you, Ana. You may retire for the evening with free time."

"Thank you, Master." She nods her head in deference, turns precisely on her heels and walks from the room.

In front of me, Dominick gives the silent command to stand in front of him. I fumble to my feet and walk to the point he commands. My feet move a shoulder width apart and one hand cups the other behind my back, eyes straight ahead.

"Your out of practice." It is a statement, not a question.

Silence hangs in the air and I fight the desire to move my body.

"You are here for confession. As such, confession will deliver a penance to help you remove the obstacle from between us. Normally, confession is an option, but you've already lied today."

A sigh escapes my lips and I brace myself internally for his reaction.

"Normally, a dominant would not be in this position but your words today tell me you've relinquished your position through your actions. A true disappointment. Your job, in that position, is to protect, care, guide and provide an example for those who follow your lead. It can be a burdensome position but when done right, it is rewarding beyond measure."

Each word punctuates my internal thoughts. I want to scream that there's an exceptionally good reason for my poor external actions. To tell him those actions were one of protection and not harm, but my lips remain firmly shut. He is correct.

Dominick walks around from the desk and moves to sit in the chair in front of me. Once he is seated, he makes the sign to kneel.

I fall to my knees and work to keep the painful posture.

"Shall we begin?" He asks and gives silent permission for my verbal response.

"As you wish, Sir."

He raises one eyebrow but no other words or commands follow it. I know he expects me to fall into the ritual long ago established, but not one part of me wants to take part.

Dominick waits patiently for me to make the next move. Nothing in his manner is rushed or demanding. He waits until I am ready, knowing each moment of silence works on my need to express my apologies and explain why I am here.

I close my eyes and gather courage. When I open them, I begin to speak.

"On my knees before you, in humble submission, I come to you in an act of confession. In this place I seek your guidance, your firm hand and resolution of those things I hold internally, perpetuated or thought in a way which does not serve me, or my relationships, to be their best. Here, I seek to absolution of my mistakes so I may grow from them. I give myself to you to provide a physical path to release these things." I chant the words I've not said in years but sit readily on my tongue. "My last confession was over 5 years ago."

"In this place I will provide the guidance as I as see fit. Here I will offer you the forgiveness you seek, a path for repair and the physical expression of resolution through pain and penance. To move forward, you must be willing and able to accept these paths without reservation or trespassing upon other relationships. Do you seek and offer these things?"

"I do." I state.

"Then let us start with why you lied about your reason for showing up in my class today."

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