Lauren Jauregui Imagines

journal

Your POV

   My girlfriend doesn't know this but I have a journal that I keep in my bottom drawer. I mostly write about her and how amazing she is and how I feel like I'm not good enough for her. I feel like this often. She is always making me feel better but I just feel like I don't live up to her expectations as a girlfriend.

//time skip//

Lauren's POV

  I'm sitting in my girlfriends room while she is at work. My phone just died and I completely forgot a charger. I'm pretty sure she keeps her chargers in one of her two drawers. I open the bottom drawer to find a lot of different stuff, but no charger. I do see a book. I pull it out and sit on the bed. I open the book and realize this is her journal. I know I shouldn't read it but I really want to know what she's thinking sometimes. I flip to a random page which says:

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I hate myself.
I'm sorry for lying and saying I'm fine.
I'm sorry for disappointing you.
I'm sorry for crying myself to sleep.
I'm sorry I hide my emotions.
I'm sorry I'm not happy.
I'm sorry for pushing you away.
I'm sorry I'm me.
I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
I'm sorry I want to die.
I'm sorry for being alive.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
I'm sorry, Lauren.
I'm sorry.

  I feel a tear run down my face. She's not happy. She's not upset with me, but with herself. She's upset. She thinks she's not good enough. Why is she thinking like this? I love her more than words can explain. I flip to the next page:

Why would
you
waste your
time
with a girl
like me?
I am not
good and I
will never
be.

  Tears start streaming down my face. I flip the page:

I worry.
I worry that maybe
I wasn't what you were expecting.
I worry that you'll remember
that you can do better than me.
I worry that I'm just not enough.

  She thinks she's not good enough for me? I think I'm not good enough for her. She is perfect. The best girlfriend I could ever ask for. No one could replace her. I love her too much. I search for a pencil in her messy drawer. I flip to the next clean, and empty page. I start writing:

I love you, in ways
you've never been
loved, for reasons
you've never been
told, for longer than
you think you
deserved and with
more than you will
ever know existed
inside me.

I love you forever and always.
~Lauren

  I feel more tears running down my face. A tear drop lands on the paper. I place the journal face down on her bed, open to the page I wrote on. I wanted her to see this when she gets home. She deserves to know she's loved and she's too good for this world. I love her, forever.

Thank God for that Journal.

(A/N) I hope you guys enjoyed! Should I make a part to where you find what Lauren wrote? Thanks for reading guys! Almost at 100 reads! Tysm!!!