Lost & Found

Cant Get Enough 1

We not together but I get the info on you cause i'm nice to ya friends
They shouldn't have told me but they did..

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It had been two weeks since I had heard from Odell. This could have been due to the fact that I blocked his number and decided to take Mrs. Brewster up on her offer to house sit for her. Hiding out in Jersey wasn't exactly the plan and I'd already missed one of Joel's shows because I couldn't bring myself to get up out the bed two days ago. This shit just wasn't me and I had to shake it. I couldn't remember the last time I just felt free and not obligated to my feelings for anyone.

Even though I was avoiding him, I couldn't get his words out of my head. Was I really acting like a little girl? I mean I know I don't always speak my mind but sometimes there's just certain shit that I don't feel I should have to speak on. Certain things are just common sense, .. to me anyways. I got up out of the bed and stretched my arms out wide. I'd been avoiding social media and everything for a while. I wasn't famous ...but at this point between Joel and Odell, people knew who I was or at least what I looked like. I couldn't even like a post on Instagram without the shaderoom thinking it was some shit about Odell.

Going to my phone I opened up the app and catch up on the latest.Scrolling my timeline I saw a few pictures of Dave, and a few pictures from Joel's show in Manhattan the other night and the usual celebrity gossip. They still hadn't showed any official pictures of Johan but there was a photo that caught Dave carrying him into a hotel in Boston a few weeks ago while they were there for the end of his tour, as usual he was bundled up and the only thing D allowed to show was his little Gucci sneakers. They were doing such a good job at keeping him hidden people started to say Joel never gave birth to a real baby. I couldn't believe the lengths some people would go through just to invade privacy.

I came across a video the shaderoom had been posted from Dave's page. I watched as he obnoxiously filmed Joel who was applying makeup in what looked like her dressing room. Odell was in the backround dancing and I rolled my eyes. I was so ready for the season to start back up so he could get back on the road. Nigga basically stole my damn friends.

Putting my phone down I decided today was a day of relaxation and that I would finally take a dip in the pool Dave had installed in his mother's backyard last year. I hopped in the shower letting the water soak my hair , the steam relieving all of the stress I had pent up. I sat under the water with my eyes closed hoping that the water would wash away that painful feeling in my chest that resurfaced whenever I thought about Odell too long. I hated this. It was like I was a slave to my own feelings. No matter what he said to me, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much I hated him, I missed him still, all the time. I used my fingertips to massage my temples as I began washing my face then my body. Once I was finished I got out and moisturized my body before slipping on my nude bathing suit. I took my spray bottle filled with rose water and coated my hair with it from root to tips before detangling it and letting it air dry.

I put sunscreen on my face and body and I was ready. I looked in the mirror admiring my body, ever since coming back from Atlanta last year I'd made some major lifestyle adjustments. I was no vegan, but I was eating a lot cleaner and it showed. I was 20 pounds down and I hadn't really done any shopping to suit my new body, aside from this new bathing suit. I walked back into the bedroom and posed in the large mirror that was actually Mrs. Brewsters closet door. Smiling at the picture I went to Instagram to post.