The Bad Seed

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Be warned, this chapter is long. I'm sorry I just have a lot to write about. (: - Z. By the way, if you're a first time reader, feel free to comment and give your opinion. <3
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(Juliet's POV)

"Get your fucking hands off of me!" The words rush out of my mouth as I try to break free from this perverted bastard, Russell, who's hands are attempting to move up my shirt, "Mom! Please, help me!"

I desperately try and look at her to find the slightest bit of pity in her dark cold dead eyes as she sits on the couch and sets her attention on the TV.

The only words she could muster from her mouth was, "You deserve it, you deserve it all you damn druggie." I could tell she was drunk, like always, from the slurs in between her words.

My mom's verbal abuse is something I would take over her being physical with me any day. She still hurts me. Almost every day. Any day she doesn't is because she's out at a bar or a club, blowing off her cash on drinks and shit like that.

"Why don't you love me?" I mumble as a silent tear rolls down my face as I think of this asshat who was just attempting to touch my boobs and god knows what else while my own mother isn't doing a thing about it, "I just want you to love me like a mother should."

A mothers love is meant to be so sweet.. so gentle. A mothers love is a love like no other. The woman that carried you inside of her for the longest time should create a bond. Not a huge void between the both of you. During my mothers pregnancy with me, she loved me and was always careful with me. Once I was born, I was her light along with my father. Then she came to despise even being in the same room with me once my father died.

The room falls silent for a minute then suddenly, my mom stands up and marches over to me, "You don't get to be loved. No one wants to love a piece of shit little girl like you, Juliet. You're a fucking drug addict and you killed your father!"

This was my breaking point. I felt the heat rush up to my face, "I didn't kill him!" I screamed back without thinking and with one swift swipe, my face stung and tingled and I felt my eyes get puffy as tears threatened to errupt right there and then like they always do. On the brink of tears, I can already feel the red handprint arise from my skin.

"Don't fucking raise your voice at me, little rat!" She screams as she hits me over the head, "Get the fuck out of my house, I don't want you anymore!"

At that moment, I felt so small. So weak. My own mother saying she doesn't want me. There is no sense in arguing with her. She'll just hurt me over and over again. All I need is relief once more. I can't take this much longer if I don't do anything about it.

I start maping out my plan for when I leave for the night. My mom always kicks me out, says the same shit over and over again. Hurts me a little more every fucking damn time. I think of my stress relief options I have.

The knife in the kitchen.

Spare blades hidden in my pillowcase.

The opioids in my backpack.

The good stuff hiding in my closet.

Walking upstairs I feel the voices in my head coming back. Telling me how worthless and idiotic I am for saying that in front of her and expecting her not to hear. Telling me that I should just drop dead because their is nothing in this world that will ever love me. Not even my own mother.

I run into my room and slam my door. I start pounding my head with my fists and cry out repetitively, "Stop it!"

Tears are now gushing down my face and it's getting hard to breathe. I sit at the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands in attempt to catch a breather. I sit there as my tears fall from my eyes and onto my bedroom floor.