chapter 1

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Tracing the smooth skin on xuan's abdomen he hears the short one let out a shaky breathe.
"Ch-eng ,pl-ease touch me"the aroused boy begs making Cheng lose all control and dive into a kiss as his hands caress all the available skin. His hand slowly moves down as it inches closer to xuans manhood. Xuan moans lightly shutting his eyes as he waits for chengslarge hands to satisfy him. Cheng grabs xuan and slowly pumps his hard one making xuan move around on the bed,clutching Chen's shoulder as if his life depends on it. "Cheng, nghaaahh,cheng-CHENGGGG"
Cheng en jolts awake from his obviously hot daydream as he sees none other that his best friend of  years and the person he has been  shamelessly dreaming about and jerking off to.
"I have been calling you for the past 5 minutes, what are you thinking about that is so important that you ignore me"xuan pouts and looks away. Cheng en studies the male yet again. This has been his practise for sometime. He stares at the other taking in his beautiful face with delicate features framed by amazing hair. Cheng hits him up mentally as he walks closer to xuan and turns him around. He cups the shorters face and smiles his legendary toothy smile as he stares lovingly at the person he has been always thinking about.
"I am sorry xuan ,I was really tired and just lost focus I won't do it again "he says as he stares at the other guy with puppy eyes . He knows his friend cannot resist it.
"Yeah whatever ,now come with me to eat lunch. Yu hao and his friends are waiting for us"he says as he walks away motioning Cheng to follow. Yu hao. The name rings inside his ears for sometime . He still remembers the first time he saw him while he was running away from the director,he remembers how impressed he was with his skills,he was the one to blame as he was the one who insisted to take him into the team.
Xuan resisted at first but Cheng made sure that he gives in. And finally when that happened  things went down hill for him.
*flashback*
"XIAN,XUAN,WERE ARE YOU TAKING ME" Cheng asks as he was being pulled by xuan.
Xuan doesn't say anything and finally they reach the school terrace,
"Ok now are you gonna open that beautiful mouth of yours and say something "Cheng says and xuan looks at him and blushes red.
"I -I like yu hao"he says and looks away embarrassed, as he sees cheng's eyes widen.
Cheng  feels something happened to his heart , a pain that he never knew about. His eyes sting as tears for in it. But he just blinks it away and looks up and is faced by grey sky. His face shows a smile and he slowly chuckles , he then chuckles louder. Xuan looks at his weird friend and punches him on the chest.
"Why are you laughing, I just said a huge ass secret to you"he says to which Cheng stops laughing wiping his tears away,
"Fine,I get it ,now you should tell this to him not to me."Cheng points out and xuan just sighs.
"I don't know,I think this is inappropriate and I am scared of the outcome. What if he dislikes me after this"xuan says face scrunched up in disappointment .
Cheng comes close to xuan and lifts his chin up,"never look down on yourself, you are so handsome that he would never turn you down even if he wants it."XUAN looks at him adorably and smiles happily.
*
Now they are sitting in front of the 2 cute couples, the brother couples identity is only known by them 5. Cheng or xuan has no problem with them considering they are not blood related at all.Cheng  actually thinks they are the cutest couple.
Xuan is happily chatting off with his boyfriend while the brother couple is feeding each other. Cheng doesn't feel like a third wheel ,because he like spending time with xuan talking or not. He was also always welcome here so it is not a sin.
Cheng eats silently as he thinks about how his life is a mess right now.
One moment they are best friends and life is fine as they always spend time with each other and now he is lonely as his best friend is dating a cute guy,and realization hit him that he actually likes this cute nerd he thought was his best friend.
"-Cheng,you are always dreaming,now I am getting annoyed okay,the bell rang a minute ago,what is bothering you"xuan,officially known as the day dream buster,interrupts him again,as he stares angrily at him. Or he tries.
"Nothing , I don't feel too well"Cheng says as he stands up. He didn't wanna show anger or hatred to anyone even xuan ,he wants to conceal it with a big smile,which is his nature but now he doesn't feel like faking it.
"I am going home, see you tomorrow "he says again and waves at xuan who stands there lost and confused.

The walk home was a terrible experience, the 15 minutes felt like hours stretching in front of him and he just wanted to lock himself up and cry. He was home alone for 2 weeks as his parents are on a trip to Thailand where their relatives wedding is taking place. He didn't go because he hated weddings and could not miss classes.
The day was bright compared to the dark in his heart. He finally reached his home and quickly unlocked the door and threw the bag on the couch.
His pace slowed down as he finally reached his room ,he closed the door with a bang and jumped atop the bed to sleep and drown all his worries. He was knocked out within seconds.

Knock,knock

His dream less heavy sleep was interrupted by loud knocking on the door.
He shakily got up and looked at the bedside clock . It read 7:37.
He opened the door and saw a worried looking xuan,wearing his practise clothes still and a lunchbox in his hand . That's when he realized he has not eaten anything in a long time. He moves away from the door letting him in. They both have each others house key for emergency and maybe for sneaking out.
"Cheng you made me worried ,you did not pick my calls, but it's okay."Xuan says as he settles his bag and lunchbox. Cheng 's eyes follows all of his moves. Xuan turns and looks at Cheng who just stares back at him.
"What happened Cheng ,you don't talk much to me ,you are always lost in thought and skipping practice, you need to tell me ,you are scaring me"xuan says sadly.
Cheng smiles and ruffles xuans hair who is now standing much closer to him,
"I am fine ,just needed to catch up on my sleep" Cheng makes excuse as he walks to where the lunch box is sitting untouched. But xuans reflexes were faster as rushes past him and gets the lunchbox from the table.
"You need to shower,change and then I will see about feeding you"xuan nags like a mother ,pointing a finger at Chengs chest . Cheng smiles as he remembers all the time xuan has nagged him for doing stupid stuffs.
He walks away spanking xuans ass in the process and he only gets  a grunt in reply.
After 10 minutes a fresh Cheng smelling like vanilla comes out of the shower. Cheng quickly walks towards the reading figure sitting on his bed.
"Now ,I need food now"Cheng whines like baby. Xuan smiles at his antics and opens the box and spreads the contents out.
"Eat "Xuan commands and Cheng complies without hesitating.
"Will you tell me what's wrong if I ask"xuan provokes him .
Cheng stares at the sad boy spitting next to him. He didn't wanna hurt him but he also didn't wanna tell him about the realization which might cause their friendship to crash .
He finally made up an excuse which he hopes xuan buys.
"I like xiaoxiao."Cheng says which makes xuan crack up.
"Hahhaha,you like her,but she thinks that we are together lol"xuan says feeling this whole deal amusing exact opposite to what Cheng is feeling.
"See I knew you would be an ass"cheng says hiding his sadness,with a playful smile.
"No ,just kidding"he says smiling back at him.

Cheng eats silently even though he didn't want to.
Ring ring.
"Hello,  ahhh... I will be home soon . I am doing something very important. No don't worry .ok ye"xuan answers into his phone.
"Who was that?"cheng looks at xuan questioningly . A kind of fear flashes in xuan eyes and it is gone next second and Cheng being his best friend doesn't miss it.
"Yu hao is home for dinner ,I have to get there"he says smiling and gets up.
"Hmm okay,I will wash and bring it to school tomorrow to school"Cheng says but xuan just shakes his head and packs everything up.
"No need,"xuan picks his belongings and walks downstairs followed by Cheng.
"See you tomorrow "Cheng says and xuan just nods .
"Get some rest and don't come tomorrow if you still feel sick."XUAN says and quickly hugs Cheng before running away waving.
Cheng walks up to his bedroom. He turns off the lights and creeps atop the bead.
If only xiaoxiao was right .He things as he cries himself to sleep.

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