Joyful suffering - Yoo Jeongyeon

Chapter 8

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"Isn't it funny how fast time flies and how much you've changed"

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"How much the world has its eyes on you, but you keep getting worse"

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"How the people you love become your enemies"

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"Jeongyeon, don't say that....."

"Cause I know you're better than that.."

The sound of the calm voice made me turn around. I looked into her eyes.

"But how do you know?"

"I don't even know myself"

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She looked back at me.

"Who am I?"

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"Please....."

"Please tell me...."

I looked down knowing that I obviously wouldn't get an answer to this question.

"Jeongyeon.....you...."

Her calm voice came back which made me look up at her. She looked away.

"I'm sorry"

She turned around and never spoke to me again.

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"I'm sorry"

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The cold breeze filled my lungs with peace. The sky had different shades of blue. It reminded me of that swimming pool I saw when I was younger. The swimming pool was much bigger than me. I always looked up to see the end of it. I remember seeing the smiles of the children playing in it. People looked so happy by the pool. I always tend to look up to things that are bigger than me......but also things that brought joy to humanity. I wanted to be like the swimming pool. I wanted to be like the blue sky that people admired. I wanted to be like the cold breeze that made people feel calm and peaceful. I wanted to be someone that people looked up to. But it never happened.....I became someone that people feared. I became someone else. I became someone that I didn't know. Whenever I look in the mirror, I see a stranger looking back at me. I want to see myself. I want to be someone to look up to. I want to be like the blue sky. I want to be like the cold breeze. I want to be like the swimming pool......

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"Jeongyeon"

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