To All The Peter Kavinsky's I've Loved Before

chapter six

We have approximately three weeks before the school comes to an end and then I'll be an official high school senior, it feels like I started high school just yesterday and now graduation is just around the corner. Time flies by so fast, creating friends isn't as hard as people think you make a new one every day without even knowing it.

"You going to Junior Prom?" Ginny turned towards me, I really thought about it you know prom and everything, there's always a next year. Junior prom will kill senior prom, I'm not going

I shook my head after awhile, there are good news to this. Greg and Ginny are going together, they're officially each others person. I forgot what it felt like to have a person to lean on, to love, to have somebody hold your hand and kiss your forehead I just know that you have to bring the same amount to the table, it's a two way street not a one way so be careful who you invest your all to.

"You're delivering my princess, as always she's stunning" We let go of each other as they met in the middle and embraced one another

Peter looked at me, I didn't smile I just looked away.

"Uhm see you guys later" I backed up a few steps knowing damn well I need to be as far away from Peter as I could

"You're leaving?" My best friend had that face, she read right through me and I just can't give in and stay, act as if everything were alright and the same which it isn't

"yeah, it's the third time this week. Kstar I don't think you really need help in journalism" Greg, though he doesn't know a thing he can put pieces together

I licked my lips "Nope, but to be honest I need to get a way from Peter for as far and as long as I can"

We then locked eyes, we addressed the elephant in the room. It is no longer a secret and everyone no longer needs to speculate about it. Gen was right, he was at her house and the worse part is I watched him kiss her on the forehead and he saw me see what he did to her. He dodged me for a whole week and managed to sneak out right past me and into the parking lot and into her house, pants too most likely. Can't blame him, she's perfect.

"Ara, don't do this" Peter came forth and by then my eyes started to form waterfalls, I ran for it

Before the bell could ring I had already stood up from my seat and then as soon as it did ring I rushed out and ran to the place I know made me feel safe and okay. My car was dead beat broken down, mom promised to get me a new car this week and that leaves us to busses because I wasn't going to sit in the same car with Peter, it bothers me that I even share a room with him, breathing the same air- the tension was just there. I didn't let him explain because there was no need to, it was clear to me that I was stupid, stupid to even let him in and make me feel a way I didn't want to

I found this animal shelter just across town, yes crazy for me to go on foot just to pet dogs.

"You okay? What happened this time that you had to run across town just to pet dogs?" I created friends here, they notice I'd only come to see dogs on days where I didn't look my best

"Nothing too important, thank you though" I rubbed the ears of what I wish was mine- a baby corgi, I named it Poochie but that is of course in my imaginary world

"Aren't you a good boy?" I played with him, on occasions I'd volunteer and take a few dogs to the park so they'd know what fresh air feels like

I love pets, bunnies are cute but they bite and their chompers hurt but it isn't bad as a snake bite but I wouldn't know I never got bit before but I think I just did. Animals make me feel whole, their cute and soft and loving and know how to make you feel better, they're like tiny little humans in a fur ball type of form, what hairy creatures! Happiness comes in all shapes and sizes, you can find them anywhere.

"One day I'll take you home and you'll have a ton of brothers, you'll love them and they'll feel the same about you. At least I'm sure of that" I really take down my own happiness with some sappy sad sentences, can't I just talk happily?

I looked at the clock, looks like it's time for me to head home before the sun completely goes away, it's not good to be walking alone and being a girl at night in this part of the town. I cursed every time I'd get scared by a cat or a rumble down any ally that I'd come across, it's getting dark faster than usual- screw you global warming and daylight saving!

"Oh my god I think I'm going to die today- shit my phone's on 5%. Perfect fucking day" I sat on the nearest bench I saw and cried out of frustration, sometimes things don't work out the way we want it to

My eyes shut, ready to be mugged by a couple of hobos. I heard a car engine right in front of me, the wheels coming to a stop. "Oh a cab" Luckiness I guess

"How much?" I asked before riding in

"I can do 20 an hour" Wait, an hour? How far do you think I live, unless he's thinking of something else

"Uhm sorry?"

"25? Need a special tonight" He leaned out the window, one hand out and the other rubbing his crotch

"Oh hell no! I'm 17" I backed away a bit but his hand had caught my wrist and the only thing that's stopping me from getting into his car was my only foot that wasn't caught up in something

I cried, his grip was tight and today wasn't the day I was going to get raped. I was hanging on sideways on this dude's car door, he wouldn't let go of my wrist so I took it upon myself and put a hand over both of his arms that were now on both of my arms and yanked him out of the car, I started to punch him in the face- a marines kid who was forced into kick boxing.

"You fucking predator" I kicked him in the crotch, stood there for a minute to admire my work of art I call this Bloody Hell.

Turned to walk home because that sure made me feel better and stronger. I forgot I was put through self defense classes, my dad worried about what other men who were sick to the head were capable of doing to young girls like me and my other sisters. The world is twisted but that's how it is, he disintegrate into shit.

He grabbed me by the ankle and yanked me back face planting onto the concrete side walk, he got up and took me by the feet dragging me towards his yellow car- who the fuck owns a yellow car?

"no, No, NO" I yelled trying to kick him off but I didn't have the advantages to

I started to cry, my womanhood will be ruined in the next few minutes. His belt was unbuckled and pants slowly sliding down his legs

This old man who dragged me was punched by someone who I couldn't see, everything turned black

"P-Peter" I woke up, the room was white and I was wearing white but not the kind I like to be in

"I'm here, I'm not leaving" He rushed towards me, his lip was busted and his cheekbone red

"I- I didn't mean to call your name out, I- I'm sorry it just came out" I sat up, scoped the room, my clothes in a bag to the right of me, my backpack has a hole from when I was dragged

"What?"

"Peter I can't do this, I have to go home. Thank you so much but I can't see you right now, I-"

"Don't do this, why are you doing this?"

"How was I supposed to know I fell for you? Was I supposed to tell you? How was I supposed to feel when you kissed her on the forehead, after then you tried rushing after me? How? I didn't want to feel this way because I know I'd get hurt again" I had enough crying for today, not again

"Gen was right"

"She was, but I did not come to her house, i dropped off all of the things right in front of her door- no one was home so I came back a few days later and dropped off the rest of the things that belonged to her, I gave Lara Jean my closure because I feel the same way about you and I dodged you because I fell for my best friend Klara Wintour Stilinski. I fell for you and I thought it would go away when I didn't see you but it grew by the days. I like you. I like you"

"Shut up" I wiped my tears

"Please Klara don't-"

"No, shut up and kiss me 'cause I can't move I'm sore"

A/N

I'm trying to post 2 new chapters every day for a whole month! Eyes open!