Raising Riven

Declan

Hayden
Don′t freak out.
3:16 PM

Declan
not helping
3:16 PM

Hayden
Chill, you got this.
3:17 PM

Declan
ASDFGHJKL
3:17 PM

Declan shot him a look. He shrugged and turned away, inconspicuously sipping a latte at the waiting area. Rolling his eyes, Declan stepped up to the counter, pushing the stroller along. ″Mornin′.″ He smiled at the blonde behind the desk.

″Registration or name change?″

″Registration,″ he replied, forcing composure. His toes wiggled nervously on the soles of his moccasins, fingers tapping incessantly on the desk. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Averting his gaze from the clerk, he read the text as it lit up the screen.

Hayden
I′m freaking out.
3:20 PM

Huffing, Declan pocketed his phone and redirected his focus to the clerk′s next question. ″Are you the biological father, sir?″

″Uh, no. He′s adopted.″

″May I take a look at the adoption papers?″

Declan swallowed hard. ″Yes,″ he muttered, ″of course.″

He fumbled for his briefcase, extricating a clipped stack of forged papers; Hayden had called in a favour. Evidently, doing taxes at a law firm involved befriending many sketchy clients. Declan′s forehead shone with a thin film of sweat, fingers crossed as he pushed the falsified documents across the desk.

She pursed her lips. He caught his breath.

She wrinkled her nose. He bit his lip, tasting blood.

She squinted, leaning in to read the fine print. He choked.

She shrugged, keying in the particulars. He exhaled in relief.

″Everything alright, sir?″

″Splendid,″ he croaked. His Adam′s apple throbbed in his throat.

He loosened his tie, feeling hot. Craning over his shoulder, he passed Hayden a thumbs up, to which the accountant′s heels tapped the floor in excitement. Realising he had disobeyed his mandate to remain calm, Hayden sipped his coffee and swivelled in his chair to admire a potted plant.

Declan faced the clerk, amusement tugging at the edge of his lips. ″Sir, if you′ll just fill in this form,″ she said, offering a kind smile and a sheet of paper, printed to its margins with unchecked boxes and blank lines. He clicked the pen she had pressed onto his right palm.

His fingers trembled. I′m being selfish, he thought. I could be robbing him of a perfect life.

Or, life as an orphan; stuck in the system, always on the move, at the mercy of merciless foster parents. Granted, Declan had met a couple of decent couples in his childhood. But they didn′t make up for the ones he′d been abused by. He could picture this baby′s future, as clear as his past, in that dreadful setting.

Not on my watch.

His hand jerked of its own volition, the pen′s tip gliding across the form, checking boxes and filling blanks in a mixture of truth and lies. They′re white lies, Hayden had assured him; a poor attempt to clear his conscience.

Declan hadn′t much to offer. No suburban home, expensive presents, or branded clothes. He had only his heart to give, and all the love that came with it. He froze before checking the last box, eyes falling to the infant in the borrowed stroller, peacefully asleep amongst soft blankets.

Declan no longer felt his heartbeat, but the rhythm of his baby′s; the life he′d be gifted to cultivate. In all rationality, he knew he wasn′t ready for this step. Declan didn′t know the first thing about being a father; if anything, the men in his life had taught him many ways how not to parent a child.

But the mere thought of being separated from his little miracle sent an invisible knife through his heart, his entire body spiked in cold and pain. Rationality, by society′s standards, required redefining. Declan swore he would do whatever it took to raise this child.

Risk ran through his veins. So far, that had landed him in mountainous debt and regret. Before he could change his mind, Declan checked the box and set the pen on the desk. He thrust his clammy hands into his pockets, holding his breath.

″Congratulations, sir.″ He looked up at her kind face. ″He′s registered, and that′s a beautiful name.″

* * *

″So, how did it go?″

Hayden bounced on his tiptoes, exuberant. They strolled gleefully along the sidewalk, each a hand on the stroller and an arm around the other′s shoulder. ″Smoothly, all thanks to you.″

″Did you name him River?″ Hayden had coined the name on the metro, en route to the registration office.

″No.″ His adorable smile fell. Declan met his eyes. Oceanic, comforting eyes; the eyes he had pictured as he fought to fill in the form. Eyes that gave him strength, gave him hope.

Declan faced his best friend, beaming. ″His name is Riven.″