Something ive neer really opened up to anyone about is my abuser amy... she was a good friend of mine and we even dated for a while. i dont know why but i was absolutly smitten with her. We dated for 6 months, and she never touched me. never kissed me or held my hand. hardly ever sat next to me. after she broke up with me things changed. She bacame alot more touchy feely. she would kiss me and hold me and put me in her lap. for TWO YEARS she would touch me in my sleep any time we spent the night. i always asked her to stop, she never did.
When i got into my next relationship, things changed again. She was mean, and rude. always insulting me and my hobbies. we grew apart. things escillated so quickly im not even sure what was happening untill we were fighting in the cafeteria. I confronted her about her abuse and she flat out denied it in front of everyone. so i hit her. i hadnt talked to her since.
about three weeks ago i came home to a strangers car in my driveway. when i walked in the door i could feel the spike of adrenaline. There she was, on my couch, crying in my mothers arms. She had finally come out to her family and the response was as expected. bad. i went to my room without a word and began having a panic attack. i had to wrap my arms around myself to stop from self harming, (which happens alot when i have panic/anxiety attacks)
my dad heard me hyperventilating through my door and was able to stop it, but not before all the memories of what she had done came rushing back to me. i was so so mad. How dare she come to my house, my safe place, and cry to my mother after everything she did to me.
anyway i just needed to get this off my chest, its been giving me bad dreams....
