Town Reject

Chapter Nineteen

I was now sitting on my bed thinking about that kiss with Ryder. After he had kissed me I had wanted to leave. Sure, I wanted to stay and keep kissing him but I just needed to think. He frowned at me but I saw the understanding in his eyes. He drove me home in a comfortable silence. I gave him a soft smile and went inside. I sent a quick message to all my friends saying I was home now and I'll talk to them tomorrow. I frowned and lay down on my bed while looking up at my roof. What do I want? Truly? Was I going to allow Hoani to ditch me or was I going to fight for him? Did I want to be with Ryder? I closed my eyes and sighed. I HAVE NO GODDAMN IDEA WHAT I WANT!

My body and heart are calling out for 3 guys at once!! Sure! Ryder currently has the biggest driving force within my heart but I had a feeling if I focused on one of the other 2, it was become just as all consuming for me. Lucas had faded to a dull ache in the background but he was still there. Hoani's presence was steadily growing in my heart and would have continued to grow if he hadn't dropped me so fast... ok that was a lie. It was still growing now. I wanted so badly to call him and tell him I miss him.

This is all so confusing! I don't know if I'm actually in love with any of them or in lust. SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! I have no one who I can call to talk about this! Katie is Hoani's sister so I can't talk to her, Sophia is Lucas' girlfriend so I can't talk to her, Manaaki is Hoani's brother so he's out and Jack... well I don't think Jack cares all that much so he's out too. Ugh! So annoying! I don't know what to do...

Aaaah! So annoying! I just need to get out of my head. I decided to head to Instinct since it was getting dark and I couldn't go to my meadow. I arrived at Instinct and smiled at Lollipop who was sitting at the front desk with her brother. She's here often now. "Nonnie? You're here late. Why?" Lollipop asked in a cold voice. I froze at the front door and frowned. Should I have not come? "I was bored so..." "Bored? Does this look like a place to entertain you? This is a business. It's not a place we're you can come whenever you want to relieve your boredom." Lollipop growled cutting me off. I scrunched up my brows in confusion as a stab of pain hit my chest. They never had a problem with it before. What's so different now?

I looked towards the brother and sister who sat behind the reception desk. Dylan had a blank look on his face, just watching us both but Lollipop looked so angry. "Why are you angry with me? What did I do?" I asked confused. "You really want to know?" She asked and I nodded. "Ok then. First you string Hoani along and then dump him the second you see Ryder and then not even 2 days later, you're having sex with Manaaki! Who the f*** does that?! I'll tell you who! A f**king sl*t does that! That's who! So excuse me if I don't want sl*ts stinking up this place!" She growled at me. I blinked in surprise and took a few steps into the shop closing the door behind me.

"Ok first of all, what does any of that have to do with you?! Why the hell are you so angry when it's none of your business?! Second, I did not string Hoani along and then dump him for Ryder! Hoani dumped me! He said some bulls*** about me being too young and that I was more in love with Ryder! That f**king idiot didn't even give me a chance to explain anything before dumping me! And lastly, I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH MANAAKI!! That stupid photo was some bulls*** dare that my friends told me to do! We were all drinking together to help me forget about Hoani and he was never meant to get that photo! Besides, it wasn't me that f**ked someone the very night he dumped me! So the next time you come at me with some bulls***, make sure it's correct first! I came here to get away from my problems! I'm so sorry that I've been an annoyance all this time. I'll go elsewhere to get my tattoos from now on." I said with finality then turned to walk out.

I pulled open the door roughly when I felt a hand grabbing my arm. I growled in annoyance and turned to glare at whoever was holding me. I got a fright when I saw it was Hoani. Aaah... No wonder Lollipop was so angry at me. This f**king a**hole was filling her head with bulls***! I ripped my arm away from him and walked out. F*** this shop! I really do have to change to a different tattoo parlour, if he's going to be here all the time. "V! Please wait! We need to talk!" Hoani said, following me outside. I didn't even bother to turn around. Why should I talk to him? I walked all the way to my car, unlocked it and made to open the door. It was pushed closed before I could open it fully. I was soon spun around so my back now pressed against the door. I kept my head down not wanting to look at his face.