Friends.
When does one consider a stranger to be a friend?
Do they tell them
Does it happen naturally
I don't know.
They are my friends.
At least I think so.
But there's still that feeling in the back of my mine saying that,
They are only acquaintances.
Someone to hang out with.
Someone that is there with a connection that I can relate to.
Most of them are made from classes, school.
I become friends with them because they talk to me, we talk to each other, we sit with each other.
So that we aren't alone in school, in lectures.
So we don't be left out.
We can tolerate each other, the more the better.
That is until a new semester happens. Then we can really see who sticks by my side.
But I know you gossip behind me as well.
I know that all my life.
Where you are everyone I met.
A best friend.
I think I once had that title. But then that friend moved away, and we couldn't be like those shows where we talk all day.
We lost our connection.
But I am a bad person.
I had a mask where I sometimes hated you. I don't know why. I don't know why annoyance came.
But I know we used to hate each other too. Back when we were still smiling at each other.
Gossip. Talk for hours. Confesses. Yells. Games. I remember those.
I used to have a file just for your Skype screenshots, a suppose blackmail file I joked about it.
I deleted it.
But the memories stayed.
After you left, I am alone again.
I don't have the title of a best friend.
I don't have someone I could pour my heart to.
I don't have someone to talk to when I want to complain, gossip, call until we both fall asleep with the screen still on.
I don't have a best friend anymore.
Maybe I never had one in the first place.
No one calls me anymore for pure chatting.
No one bothers to invite me to any events anymore unless I make myself present.
No one thinks of me as the first person in mind.
But thats just me being narcissist.
I can't get what I can't give.
Because I'm just a horrible friend in the end.
A Best Friend.
I don't have that.
It's just my pity party.
And after the party ends, I won't do a thing.
I'll continue to be friends.
Just not a best friend.
In the anime world, nakama is always the ultimate weapon.
.
.
Then I guess I'm the villian.
A delusional world where somebody loves me.
Ha.
