YOU (ARE SO MUCH LIKE ME).

stuttering and spanish

Alex

Joseph and I met at my favorite coffee shop, The Cup, despite the fact that he hates coffee, to help me with my make-up Spanish exam.

"Okay, okay, I've kind of get it now?" I said, put posed it more as a question than a statement out of confidence. "You do?!" Joseph asked excitedly. I mean, we have been here for over two hours focusing on strictly Spainsh verb conjugations so far. "Suree." I squeak out, trying to sound at least a little more confident than I feel.

"Alright, why don't we take a break then?" He asks, and I nod along. Yes, a break sounds lovely right now.

"Do you wanna go somewhere and get some food?" I ask, but he just shrugs, "Honestly, I'm not a big eater." I must have given him a look, because he gives me a look back. "Oh sorry, I just am-" *nervous laughter* "-but I exercise a lot so eh oh whale." He just laughs too.

"Let me at least buy you a drink or something" -he cuts me off with a small giggle- "uh-not like that... um, like a iced tea or something, uh, because I know you don't like coffee." I stutter out, probably looking like a nervous wreck in front of him. "Alex, it's completely fine, this was fun," I give him a look, "well, besides the whole studying part." His face lights up a little from his cheeks all the way to his eyes, reveling his perfectly straight teeth. "We should hangout again." He finishes by saying.

I nod, "Yeah, definitely." I grin like an idiot as I say it, and he smiles back at me, but not a sympathetic smile for my nervousness, a genuine and sweet smile.

"I have to go, but until next time." He hugs me goodbye and I watch as he leaves the coffee house.

~~

I skip all the way home until I reach my house so I can run up to my bedroom and replay the day over and over again in my head. Re-imagining the way he looked and the way his smile could light up a whole town. Thinking about how soft and smooth his voice was when he spoke. Picturing what he was doing right now, how he was doing, how is family and little brother are.

I wish we kissed. We should have kissed. Maybe I should have initiated something, I mean it is 2018, women can do this kind of stuff now... woahwoahwoah I don't kiss on a first date.... but this wasn't really a date, or was it? Nah, we were just hanging out, studying, having a good time.

I took out my phone and FaceTimed my best friend, Kt, but there was no answer. Then again... still no answer. Hmm.

Kt is gorgeous and almost a full foot taller than me and wears Emma Chamberlain styled clothes, and she always knows what to say. We met when we were eight in our grade school classroom and have been friends since.

I guess I'll just call her. My phone rings for approximately 15 seconds before I get sent to voicemail, so I leave a message, "Hey Kt, so I hung out with this guy today... we studied at The Cup together and he helped me with Spanish. Would you consider that a date?"

I press the 'end call' button and pray that she gets back to me before my curiosity eats me alive.