Lettie was a troubled mother that moved hallway across the United States with the help of her best friend, Tanner Rodriguez. She was abused by her husband, Jace.
When her kids moved to Fayetteville NC she meet two people, Alexis and Derek. She start...
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As Tanner and I went to the grocery store, I had to get a pregnancy test from the feminine hygiene aisle. I had to do something. Not knowing if I was pregnant with Jace's baby was driving me crazy.
As I went down the aisle, I couldn't help but think that if I was pregnant with a baby. How could I get Jace to leave me alone? I picked up the first pregnancy test I saw, not caring about the brand.
I spent more time reading the labels than walking - isn't that modern shopping for you? It's that or buys only single ingredients - rice, wheat, beans, tomatoes, eggs. Ingredients lists are worse than those instructions for experiments in science class, every word as long and complicated as possible. Likely the most beautiful thing about any of these things is the packaging - pretty in its vulgar way - and that adds to landfill. Junk on the inside, soon-to-be-junk on the outside. But that's life, right? Working early to late and shoving in a TV dinner.
I opened the brand new box containing the test. I took a deep breath and headed to the bathroom. I commence urinating on the test. In the time waiting, it feels like an eternity. I checked the test once finished, and my heart fails. It's positive. I was speechless that I was going to be having another child and my estranged husband is in a medically induced coma.
But my child is my child, boy or girl. My child holds my soul in their heart, and my heart is forever theirs. My child is free to live, to learn and love whom they love for there is no rule that can contain such a sacred thing. My child has my support for always and my guidance should they wish to ask. I would walk through the gates of hell to keep them safe and feel honored to be given a chance, feeling only gratitude. A child is a sacred gift, yours and mine. We show our creator our appreciation by loving them with every power we possess, letting them explore, be adventurous, take risks yet standing by to catch them if they fall. Let a mother's love, and a father's too, be the platform from which our children fly into clear blue skies, ever thankful to be such.
Being with Tanner was like resting in a house while a gale raged outside. She always said the root of all fears, the rotten heart of humanity, is the "fear of need," and our task is to meet this fear with the same resistance a rock shows to the wind - that the resolved person lets fear blow around them and remains resolute in a will to be kind.
