𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐎𝐘 ♡ ferris bueller's day off '86

TWO: Potato Chips Will Solve All Our Problems

"Glenbrook North High School, this is Grace speaking."

Cameron cleared his throat and looked over at Ferris, who was waving him on with both hands. At least, as much as he could; Ferris being Ferris had chosen now of all times to start snacking on a family-sized bag of potato chips

"Uh, um, yes, this is Mr. Shields, Alyssa Shields's father calling." Cameron's fake voice was right-on; most likely a result of spending too much time around Ferris.

"Oh, and what can we do for you today, Mr. Shields?"

Ferris' eyes widened as he looked at Cameron's mouth hanging wide open.

"Lie!" Ferris whisper-screamed at his best friend. "Say something! Anything!" He frantically shoved a handful of chips into his mouth.

"This morning's been a rather awful one, you see. We've just gotten word of my wife's father, Alyssa's grandfather, passing away."

Cameron looked to Ferris for approval, and received a keep going sign instead.

"We're all quite upset, and I dread even having to tell Alyssa. I'd sure appreciate it, though, if you'd go ahead and excuse her from the rest of her classes." Cameron twirled his finger nervously around the phone chord.

Ferris shot him a smug look, squinting his eyes, all while making the "perfect" symbol with his fingers.

"Oh my, Mr. Shields, that is absolutely dreadful news to hear! My condolences to you and your wife. I'll call for Alyssa right away and notify the Dean that she'll be leaving." Grace's tone was kind and understanding.

"Thank you for understanding, ma'am."

Cameron hung up the phone with an audible sigh, and Ferris immediately jumped on him.

"Cam, you did it! See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" Ferris stuffed another handful of chips into his mouth. "Chip?" He offered the bag to Cameron around a mouthful.

Cameron shoved the bag away and narrowed his eyes at his best friend instead. "Grace said she'd let Mr. Rooney know that Alyssa needed to be excused. There's no way they're letting her go that easy, Ferris, especially since you've so much as spoken to her before! Administration have eyes and ears like a hawk... don't you of all people know that by now?"

Ferris shook his head at Cameron mockingly.

"Cameron, Cameron, Cameron. You worry too much, my friend."

• • • •

"Who can tell me the name of the President during the Civil War? Anyone? Anyone at all?"

One look around Mrs. Rainier's American History class, and you could tell that every last student was bored to tears.

Alyssa attempted to keep her eyes open, but every few seconds they would close, and she'd have to once again snap them open. She had almost dropped her pencil upwards of seven times, and that was the last thing she wanted to do; she had no idea if Mrs. Rainier would so much as blink in her direction if she did, but risking being called on? The idea alone could go die in a hole.

God, she couldn't even remember what she had had for breakfast that morning. How could she be expected to remember something that had happened over 100 years ago?

"Lincoln. The answer's Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln was our sixteenth President," Mrs. Rainier droned. "Was he for or against the expansion of slavery, class? He was against the expansion. Can someone tell me one of Lincoln's biggest accomplishments? The Emancipation..."

Alyssa yawned.

"The Emancipation Proclamation, very good-"

At that very moment, the classroom door opened to reveal the school nurse, Florence Sparrow. She cleared her throat to make her presence known to Mrs. Rainier. Upon hearing this, Alyssa's eyes snapped open once again. Just as they started to close, she heard her name.