𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐎𝐘 ♡ ferris bueller's day off '86

THREE: James Bond? Never Heard Of Him

Mr. Rooney's finger somehow managed to switch the line from "Mr. Shields" to Ferris Bueller before the fear completely paralyzed him.

"Hey, Mr. Rooney, how you doing? Listen, uh, I'm sorry to disturb you at work, but I'm not feeling very well today. I was wondering if it might be possible for my sister to bring home any assignments from my classes that I might need? Have a nice day."

With that, Ferris cheerily hung up, knowing that his plan was working out as always.

Meanwhile, Mr. Rooney was only thinking about "Mr. Shields" left hanging on line 1, the man who was most likely going to have his head in 3, 2, ...

"Mr. Shields?" The Dean said after switching lines, wincing so badly it made Grace uncomfortable.

Cameron, not knowing how to portray a ticked-off father, cleared his throat a few times to sound important.

"I uh ... I think I owe you an apology, sir."

"Well, I should say you do!"

The Dean, so embarrassed at this point, could only sputter into the phone.

On the other hand, Cameron jumped completely into his role.

"Well I think you should be sorry, for Christ's sake! A family member dies, and you insult me! What the hell is the matter with you, anyway?"

Ferris, who was still in the next room over straightening his coat sleeves, snorted at his friend's put-on nasally voice.

There seemed to be no end to Mr. Rooney's sputtering.

"I-I-I-I really don't know, sir, I mean, I-I-I didn't think I was talking to you, I thought I was talking to somebody else," He frantically tried to explain. "You know sir, that I would never deliberately insult you like that! I-I-I-I can't begin to tell you how embarrassed I am!"

"Pardon my French," Cameron interjected, "but you're an asshole!"

On the other end, Mr. Rooney, turning red in the face, frantically waved at Grace to do something, anything.

"Asshole!" Cameron repeated into the receiver.

"Uh, uh yeah, you're absolutely right, sir, you've hit the nail right on the head." Mr. Rooney quickly covered the receiver, spun to Grace, and began whisper-screaming across his desk. "FIND OUT WHERE SHE IS!"

Grace ran to the cabinet behind the Dean to try and retrieve Alyssa's files as "Mr. Shields" continued yelling over the phone.

Cameron was having too much fun now.

"This isn't over yet, buster, do you read me?"

"Loud and clear, Mr. Shields!" Mr. Rooney's voice was audibly shaking over the phone, which only made Cameron want to have more fun with him.

"Call me sir, damn it!"

"Yes, yes! Yessir, yessir!" Grace frantically threw a binder from the file cabinet on the desk, and Mr. Rooney frantically tore through it to find out where the hell Mr. Shields's daughter was.

"That's better!"

The Dean practically shoved Grace out of his office once they found Alyssa's class.

"You just mind your p's and q's, buster, and remember who you're dealing with!" Cameron spit into the receiver.

Right as he finished, Ferris spun into the kitchen in a tuxedo and faced his best friend with a sly grin.

"Bueller. Ferris Bueller." He adjusted his sleeve, and was about to continue walking through the kitchen when Cameron grabbed his arm and turned him around.