The Arrangement | Completed | Wattys2020

29

As I pull up to Matty's house, saddnes beings to wash over my body. Why the hell did this happen? Why the hell am I even here? Am I really about to listen to what he has to say to me? This man, who claims that he loved me, cheated on me. How do you cheat on someone that you love? Depsite the fact that I know this is a bad idea, I have to hear what he has to say. 

If he is honest and apologizes for everything, then I will forgive him. Pam is right about all of this. How do I expect for him to forgive me if I won't even forgive him? Everything is forgivable. 

I ring the doorbell and wait to hear his footsteps like I always do. The soft patting of his feet from the other side can be heard, and my stomach instantly drops. Right as i'm about to turn away, Matty opens the door and meet me with those blue eyes that I love so much.

"Hi." He says breathlessly. 

"Hey." I say, just as softly as he did.

"Do you want to come in?" He asks, opening the door a bit wider and welcoming me in.

"That would be a pretty big waste of a drive if I weren't going to come in." I tease, giving him a small smile and stepping inside. He has a fire started in the fireplace, and soft instrumental music playing softly in the background. 

"It's getting pretty cold outside. I am trying to keep my electric bill down by running the fireplace, but I still think it's pretty cold in here." He says awkwardly.

"I was freezing outside. My car wouldn't warm up, either. So that didn't help." I laugh. Goosebumps form on my arms, and I know it's not from the cold air. I'm just too nervous to even function right now.

"You've got goosebumps. Come here, we can sit on the couch. I'll get you a blanket." He says, guiding me over to the couch that holds so many memories. Memories of the first time I came over to his house flood my mind, and sadness washes over me once again.

"Thank you." I say, nearly in a whisper. 

"Do you want something to drink? I have a little bit of everything. I can make us some hot chocolate if you want? I remember you talking about that one brand that you thought was so good. I bought some for us to share a few weeks ago. But, you know. Oh, and I even got these little snowmen marshmallows and peppermint straws that-" He rambled, mind and mouth going a hundred miles a minute.

"Matty, slow down." I laugh, placing my hand on his leg without even really realizing what I was doing. I pulled away as quickly as I could and cleared my throat, "Uhm, yeah. Hot chocolate sounds good." I say, trying my hardest to get over this awkward energy. 

"Yeah, okay. Sure, I'll be right back. I mean, you can come into the kitchen if you want to. It might be a few minutes and-"

"I'll help you." I say, realizing that he is definitely more nervous than I am right now.

Matty leads us into the kitchen and starts to grab all of the ingredients he needs to make our drinks. I can see his shaky hands grab the box as he uses his other hand to run his fingers through his hair. This is a nervous trait he has, and he doesn't ever try to hide it. 

"How have you been?" I ask.

"Uh, good. Really good. Just staying busy, you know." He says, pouring water into a pan and igniting the flame on the stovetop. "How about you?" 

"Well, i've been better." I admit, "But i've been good for the most part. I went back to the diner, so that's keeping me pretty busy. School is still going well. I have straight A's so far. Hopefully I can keep those up." Telling Matty all of this seems so...off. It has only been a few weeks. Why does it feel like so much longer?