Winter's Ballerina-WINTER SOLDIER FANFIC

twenty-four

"And I'll find strength in pain. And I will change my ways. I'll know my name as it called again."
-Mumford & Sons; The Cave

Russia-December 17, 1991
(Vera)

"Do you have the package?" A man in a lab coat asked us the second we stepped foot in the base. I nodded, and James handed him the bags of blue serum. He gave us a nod of approval before scurrying away. James and I stood outside an observation window where we saw the blue serum being fed into five different subjects' IV tubes. I shuddered internally as I thought of the horrors they would have to go through after this was over. I turned and locked eyes with James. We were both thinking the same thing.

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We we were constantly being barked at and ordered about with the new Winter Soldiers in need of training. James and I were assigned to train Josef, the most promising of the five, for the rest of the morning. We took turns sparring with him and tried to introduce new techniques every time. I stood, ready and waiting for him to make his move. He lunged at me, and I slid gracefully underneath his legs.
"Stance is too open," I remark in Russian, giving critiques as we go. He growled, so I kicked him behind the knees, throwing his balance off.
"Weak!"
I felt like Madame B. He whirled around and pounded his fist into me. It sent me tumbling back, but I'm still on my feet.
"Sloppy."
I got kicked in the chest, and then he held his hands on my chest, an action signifying he was in a position to break my ribs and end the fight. I nod.
"Better."
James stepped in, and I stood to the side. The two fight for a minute, but James is bested much faster than I was.
"Good work." Our supervisor, Karpov, tells us. A medic comes in to take the pulses of the Winter Soldiers for data purposes. When Josef's pulse is taken, Josef slams the medic to the floor. One of the guards whacks Josef on the head with a club, but it has no effect. Karpov leaped behind James. I stood at James' side, ready for a fight.
"Get me out of here!" Karpov yells at us. I look to James.
"We need to go now." He tells me as the five soldiers begin to kill a squad of Hydra soldiers. James covers Karpov, and I take point. I shoot anyone who gets in our way.

Germany-2016
(Vera)

A few hours later, Steve, Sam, James, and I were all taking cover in an old abandoned warehouse. James was still unconscious, and his metal arm was in between two giant blocks of cement.
"Just in case." Steve had said when I questioned it. I didn't bother to tell him that it probably wouldn't stop him. Both Sam and Steve advised me to keep my distance from James until he woke up, but I didn't listen. My arm had been stitched up and was now bandaged. It wasn't that bad of a gash after I had dug out the glass shards. After I was finished with the stitches, I made my way over to James. Eventually, I found myself leaning up against him, using his lap as a pillow. After a minute of listening to Steve and Sam arguing about something, I dozed off.
"Steve."
My body slowly began to come back to consciousness. I felt James' muscles tense as he said the name. My eyes fluttered open, and I looked around at the situation. It was then that James became aware of my presence. He looked down and studied me for a minute. His eyes graced my body with concern, looking for various injuries. They lingered on my bandaged arm and my bruised face. He put his hand on my face, covering the bruise, and it stayed there for a minute.
"Which Bucky am I talking to?" Steve asked, his voice firm. James tensed again for a moment before pulling me closer to him.
"Your mom's name was Sarah. You used to wear newspapers in your shoes." He replied to Steve, but his eyes never left mine.
"Can't read that in a museum." Steve declared.
"Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?" Sam asked skeptically. I rolled my eyes.
"If he was still the Winter Soldier, do you honestly think he'd let me do this?" I said as I sat up and kissed him. He kissed back, and together, it was as though we were far away from Steve, Sam, Germany, and the problems we were facing. I lost track of time, but it probably could have gone on forever, and I still wouldn't have been satisfied. We pulled apart after Steve cleared his throat, followed by Sam's dramatic coughing fit.
"He could be playing you! He could be playing us all!" I ignored Sam's comments and just smiled. James bent down and kissed my forehead.
"Sam," Steve warned.
"I'm glad you're back," I whispered.
For the first time since he had woken up, James looked up at Steve.
"What did I do?" James asked.
"No, don't do that to yourself. You didn't do anything." I told him.
"Enough. You did enough." Steve replied. I glared at Steve as I stood up. I went to lift the cement block from his arm and was met by a look from Sam. I stared at him, raising an eyebrow, and proceeded to shove the block off his arm.
"Oh, God. I knew this would happen. Everything Hydra put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words."
As he stood, I took his metal hand in mine.
"Is this something that can happen to Mrs. Winter, too?" Sam asked, referring to me as 'Mrs.Winter.' I chose to ignore it.
"No. No, I was never brainwashed." My voice came out in almost a whisper as I remembered the horrible things I did willingly. Unlike James, I wasn't under their control, so I had no excuse. I took a calming breath as I felt James drop his hand and move to put his arms around my waist, hugging me from behind. His chin rested on my head, and I leaned into his chest.
"Who was he?" Steve asked.
"I don't know," James replied.
"He never said his name," I added.
"People are dead. The bombing, the setup. The doctor did all that just to get ten minutes with you two. I need you to do better than 'I don't know.'" Steve sounded frustrated.
"He wanted to know about Siberia, where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where." James replied.
"Why would he want to know that?"
"Because I'm not the only Winter Soldier."
"Who were they?" Steve asks.
You don't want to know.
"Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in Hydra history." James explained.
"And that was before the serum," I added.
"They all turn out like you two?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows. This time, I didn't roll my eyes; my face remained stone cold.
"Worse." James and I replied together.
"The doctor, could he control them?" Steve asked. I snorted.
"Like a dog can control a cat," I remarked in Russian, which got me a half smile from James and a glare from Sam.
"Enough," James replied, since Steve and Sam didn't speak Russian.
"Said he wanted to see an empire fall," Steve remarked.
"With these guys, he could do it. They speak thirty languages and can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, and destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night." James explained.
"And then build a Hydra empire the next day," I added.
"You'd never see them coming." James finishes.
Sam takes Steve aside to talk, and I turn and face James.
"It's okay, you know. I'm okay." I told him.
"I broke our promise again."
I shrugged.
"Wasn't your fault. As long as you always come back to me, nothing can ever really hurt me. Maybe now we can finally be done with Hydra for good." I suggested.
"Here's to hoping."

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"But I will hold on hope. And I won't let you choke on the noose around your neck."
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