The Longest Note (Genji Shimada's Diary)

Chapter Three

                                                            Text not found

Normally, Genji enjoyed a nice bowl of steaming ramen, or a plate of sushi and rice but on this day, he was happily enjoying two piping hot burritos from Taco Bell, and a bag of chips. He was pleasantly satisfied with the result as the young man bit a chunk from the top and sour cream and beef oozed into the wrapper. His friend snickered at him for the way he ate, but he only shot a glare in the American's direction no interest in his thoughts.

The time he spent with Jesse was fulfilling. Without anyone else who really wanted to hang out with him, the Japanese grew rather lonely. Jesse had always been there when he needed. With a soft grunt, the small man pressed his back into Jesse's chest and finished his first burrito before moving on to the second. A surprised hum left him when large arms snuck around and squeezed him just a bit more securely. "I know ya don't wanna, but yer grades are low, and yer behind on some work at school..." Jesse hated to be the deliverer of bad news, but Genji was his friend, and he cared deeply for his future.

"I was thinking of dropping out, actually." It was the way he said it; so nonchalauntly like it was a normal thing to completely drop his chance at a proper education.

Jesse chuckled nervously and stood to throw away the trash. "What do ya mean?" Maybe he was hearing the other wrong. He knew Genji, and if it's the only thing he knew about him it was how the other cared deeply about his education. His mother's death may have slowed him down, but Genji promised him he'd still try.

As soon as Jesse returned, Genji had his hand curled into the other's waist and was tugging him back to his seat. He pushed his way into Jesse's lap for comfort as he spoke, "It's not easy, and I have enough stress as is. I don't think I can continue with all this work... I've missed so much. I've missed too much..."

The other man had to maul on that for a while, Genji had tilted his head back when he didn't respond right away. Jesse could see where Genji was coming from; he lost his mother, his brother and father were ever punishing more than they usually were, and he received less attention than he was used to. It is disheartening, really. How could his own family neglect him in such a dire time of need?

"...Jesse?" Jesse was dragged from his thoughts when it became apparent there were dark chocolate eyes staring into his own, noses almost touching. The younger appeared concerned, having reached his hand up to cup Jesse's cheek. ",did you hear me?"

The larger was blushing heavily now because for this position to be possible, Genji had managed to turn himself around with both knees pressed into his thighs. This close proximity brought a pink flush to his cheeks and unwanted heat further down. Then was not the time, nor was it the place.

"...helloooo?" The Asian male had begun to wave his hand in the other's face, his fingers snapped close to his face for his attention. Jesse snapped back with a short hum.

The confusion was evident on Genji's face, his once relaxed expression twisted. "I'm sorry, were your thoughts that important?" he held the slightest hint of a pout on his lips, the loss of attention having upset him. "I-... did you even hear me?"

"You shouldn't drop out," Jesse clarified his thoughts. "you'll regret that decision later. I know it's tough an' all now, but it'll get better. I'm here for you if ya ever need, and I can't imagine losin' someone so close to me, but I've been where ya are, in a way. My momma left me on the doorstep of a gang that didn't care none 'bout my education or live. He used me for his illegal activities and then he did what my mom did and left me on the doorstep of another home, this one bein' foster. It was tough to comprehend, but eventually I came to realize my education is more important than what anyone else tried to say. I promised that if I did anythin', it was to get my diploma."

Genji blinked at him, silent before he turned back around to gather the rest of his

trash. "I-I... that's not fair. You can't just bring up your life and compare it to mine like it's the same. You never had a mom to grow up with, and I did. You don't know what it is like to lose someone you grew with... you only know what it's like to be alone. But me, I... I have never been alone before. Everything I am learning in school has been taught to me already, school is simply a charade for the public anymore... I don't see why I should waste my time there anymore than I already have.. All it has ever done is cause me stress."

"Smokin' and fuckin' everything ya see is not stressful? It ain't a waste of time?" he had not meant for it to come out that way, but Genji always had shit handed to him; everything was served on a diamond platter and at the one sign of failure he gave up. How did he think Jesse felt? His whole life he grew up in foster care and never once did he smoke or drink himself to alcohol poisoning. He got over it like normal people did, through talking to others, not contracting diseases and killing himself with drugs and alcohol.

The effect of his words could never be seen on his friend's blank face, but his actions sure spoke louder. He found himself reaching to grasp the fleeing male, and he curled his fingers into the soft flesh of his hips to keep him close. 'Don't go,' was just a whisper off his tongue, but the words unspoken were loud in Genji's ear; causing the young man to unravel in his arms and fall limp. How long had it been since someone held him like this? He couldn't remember the last time another person pressed their lips against his own and genuinely felt something special.

He did not remember feeling obligated to kiss back. It had been so long ago, and the one person he shared such close relations with ended up hurting him. This time, he would not let someone he cared so deeply for hurt him in the same way. He would not give Jesse the chance to feel like he needed to force himself upon him because he would give it to him. Anything Jesse wanted, he would give him.