jaded; spam

❁ i wish i could say

sorry for like never posting. school is stressful and i've been trying to prioritize my time.

i haven't really been reading or writing on here all that much. which isn't good, i need to get back in the habit of it.

high school is really gross though. everyone there is either super chill or is problematic and won't shut up. there's no in between. also, there's actually happy people there which confuses me. in middle school, all of us were suicidal and/or depressed but now there's kids that actually think life has meaning. don't get me wrong, it isn't a bad thing. its just been a while since i've been around people like that.

i'm really trying to work towards a better mindset right now, but things aren't really going all that well. i keep feeling like i need to drop this one person from my life but i don't because i'm scared of what they'll say or do if i do drop them. they're just really negative towards themselves and others, they're very problematic, and they aren't trying to get better. i really don't want that in my life but at the time we have history and they know stuff about me that no one else knows so they could expose me. rip.

on thursday, i went to my piano lesson and my piano teacher told me she looked up 5 seconds of summer. she knows i like their music and went to see them live so she wanted to give them a listen. it turns out she really likes their music and she loves the she looks so perfect music video lol.

i'm so tired right now and i'm kind of stressed out. tomorrow my friend is coming over, don't get me wrong i love her dearly, but social interaction is so exhausting. mentally i can't handle being around people for a certain amount of time. i love hanging out with my friends and having fun but at the end of the day i feel tired and like i could have been more productive.

but anyways, i hope whoever is reading this is having a lovely day/night!! feel free to talk to me whenever.

☼

9.14.18

spread love,
—b