Dear Older Me

9/16/18

I woke up this morning to the sound of my cats and thought about going back to sleep until I remembered that Ivan was coming over today. I got up and got dressed (yes, I sleep naked), did my chores, and grabbed a food bar to eat in the car. As my dad drove me to Ivan's house, we talked about the Library of Alexandria. More specifically, we discussed how I'd use time manipulation powers to save it from the fire by stealing all the books. We pulled into Ivan's driveway and as I went up to knock on the door, I was hella nervous. (Sorry Ivan. I love you but I'm a scaredy-cat.) Once Ivan and I got into the car and began the drive back to my place, we began to chat about the conversation from earlier but in reverse order and in more detail. Ivan and I cuddled as well because I need lots of physical affection. We stopped at the store to buy some sleep masks for mom and me before going back to cuddling the rest of the trip home. Upon our arrival, we hung out and listened to horrible music and other odd videos he played.

I feel like writing. He is sitting next to me. I missed him. I wish I could see him every day. I enjoy it when he is sitting next to me and when I'm practically laying on top of him. He is warm like a heater. He says I am warm. I don't believe him, but I'm thankful that mom and dad like him. Hope does, too, though even if they didn't, I'd still like him and talk to him. This way, however, it is far more easy to hang out and cuddle and do stuff together. I love physical contact so we cuddle any time we hang out. We were in the kitchen talking and cuddling (I enjoy doing that) before it was time to take him home. I was so tired that I fell asleep in the car, but I woke up after what felt like 10-20 minutes. We talked more. I was so happy. He could have slept and I still would have been happy, although I probably just would have curled up and fallen asleep with him if he had. I was disappointed after dropping him off. The odd thing was that I'd gotten a killer headache two to three minutes after. It was as if all of the happy chemicals had been blocking it all day, and when he was gone and I wasn't as happy, it came back. I was displeased with this occurrence, so when I got home, I took medicine and enjoyed a shower. This helped. Later on I talked to my parents and watched some episodes of Bones (good show). Anyway, most of my feelings were just pure happiness and warmth. I'm pretty sure I was red almost all day. You know what I'm most happy about? His pupils. Did you know that having enlarged pupils while looking at someone tends to indicate that you love them? His are like that. We both already knew but it still makes me happy that he is happy.