Unsteady | Sterek

Twenty Six: Rebels and mutineers

Doc Deaton can't really do much for Derek because there isn't much to do.

"I don't know what to tell you," he confesses as Derek lay unconscious on the table. "His wound is almost healed."

"He wasn't healing though," Scott says. "Stiles was trying to stop the bleeding. He was dying."

Deaton sighs. "Scott, I can't do anything for Derek. He will continue to heal and wake up in a day or so, healthier than ever. Although, I would like to talk to Stiles about what has been happening these past few weeks."

"That might prove to be a little difficult," Peter says lowly. "Seeing as Stiles won't respond to any of us."

The teenage boy could have passed as a statue. His skin is sallow and his eyes are glazed and unfocused. The heartbreak, self-hate and horror etched on his face was a heart-wrenching mix and even Deaton had trouble looking past the emotions to the suffering boy underneath.

"This," he says. "I might be able to help with." He motions at Scott. "Come here, I need you to use your claws to bring him back to us."

Scott shakes his head. "That'll hurt him," he protests. "What the hell, Deaton?"

Peter sighs and steps forward. "I'll do it," he says tiredly. "Where do I need to cut?"

"I just need you to make a puncture wound in his arm," Deaton instructs. "It should unblock his energy flow."

"I'm not even going to pretend I understand what that means," Peter says and sticks a claw deep into the boy's arm.

Stiles jolts. Peter steps away, easily ignoring the hot glare Scott sends his way. "Doc?" Stiles rasps, looking around. "Guys?" His eyes widen. "Derek!"

"He'll be fine kid," Peter says.

Stiles doesn't believe him. He wants to but he can't because Derek was dying and Stiles was trying to stop the blood but it just kept coming so how can Derek be fine? "Please," he says to Deaton and his voice breaks. Stiles is shocked because he hadn't known there was enough of him left to break.

Deaton dips his head. "He'll be okay, Stiles."

Stiles wants to be relieved, maybe he is, but he'd done this to all of them. He'd brought the coven here, he'd hurt his dad, he'd killed too many, he'd become a monster and now Derek is hurt and all Stiles can do there is stand there and contemplate crying.

"The coven?" He says, turning to Peter. The older werewolf looks sad. Stiles can't fathom why.

"Argent and Isaac stayed behind," Peter says. "The coven is dead. The faebane bullets worked, Stiles, just like you said."

Stiles doesn't really know what to say to that.

"I want to go home," he murmurs, and he sounds so petulant, even to himself, that he cringes and waits for someone to tell him to grow up. Nobody does.

"I can drop you off," Scott says but Stiles shakes his head and wraps his arms around him because he can't go home, Scott, why do you have to be so hurtfully ignorant? Stiles hates his friend sometimes, just because he doesn't know, he never knows, because knowing things is Stiles job and he loathes that he knows because ignorance is bliss when it means you're ignorant to the fear in your own father.

"Head back to the loft" Peter says and Stiles thinks that he can hear something very similar to sympathy in his voice. "I'll bring Derek there in a little while. I need to talk to Deaton about something."

And Stiles wants to ask about that too but he's tired of knowing things and if they don't want to tell him then that's fine. He just wants to wrap himself in Derek's sheets and pretend he isn't a murderer and a monster and maybe he can pretend that Derek doesn't hate him. Because if Derek does hate him now, Stiles wouldn't blame him, he'd just suck it up because even his dad hates him now so Derek has reason to as well.

"Okay," he says and walks away from what he once called family.

Scott doesn't try to stop him on the way out and Stiles thinks that that's just Scott finally acknowledging that Stiles is a monster and can't be redeemed. It doesn't hurt as much as Stiles thinks it should and maybe that makes him cruel but Stiles is so far past caring.

He's just tired.

He walks and walks and somehow he ends up at his house rather than the loft. It would've been fine if his dad hadn't been getting out of the car. Stiles stares and his dad stares and then it finally hits him that he can't go home and now he's lost both his mother ad his father because he hadn't been strong enough for either of them.

Stiles backs away, able to distinguish the fear seeping from his dad. He'd been the cause of that fear.

He runs and he runs until he can't breathe but then he runs some more so his body has no choice but to take in mouthfuls of air and then he's outside the loft and he's crumpling to his knees outside the door.

His hands shake and he can't count his fingers but he knows it's real because the witches are gone and so is the Nogitsune but Stiles is still a mess and he's still broken and he really doesn't think he's ever going to be okay ever again because he just keeps hurting people.

Peter comes home a few hours later, carrying the still unconscious Derek, and finds Stiles leaning against the front door, staring up at the stars in the sky. The tears on his face match the twinkling lights up above. Peter thinks that it's kind of sad.

"When will Derek wake up?" Stiles asks and Peter can hear just how hollow Stiles thinks he is.

"Deaton says it should be another five minutes and then he'll wake up and be fine."

Stiles doesn't buy his words and Peter can tell but Peter also knows that Stiles isn't going to believe anything until Derek wakes up and tells the human boy himself. Then again, Peter isn't sure how Derek is going to react to the mess that is Stiles.

It might end in tears and it might end whatever peace Stiles has but Peter can't really do anything about that except watch, wait and pray that life finds a soft spot for his family.