As I woke up to my alarm I couldn't help but think of anything but about Tanner and Derek leaving for the Middle East.
As I was sitting on the bed thinking about the events that were going to unfold only in a couple of hours of time, I couldn't cope with the pain and fear that I have overcome with.
The pain I carry in my chest is inexplicable. Seeing them go away from me hurts a lot. Even though I want to hold them and keep them by my side for a longer time.
One of Tanner's favorite quotes is "Fear is wisdom in the face of danger."
It's a good thing to be tuned in enough to feel fear and figure out why it's there and what to do about it; that's what bravery is. You have to be brave to feel that fear long enough to analyse it and keep your self control.
Because when we learn about it, it gives us a real chance to care better for others when they are scared, to be kind when others need help. Those who demand resiliency of others should ask themselves if it is loving and empathic to do so, for repeated exposure to harm and stress causes damage in the brain, whereas love, nurture and compassion build a stronger brain that gives a natural resiliency.
When I am afraid, I remind myself that my good decision making ability is temporarily offline and I need to wait before I can figure things out, wait for my brain's usual connections to resume.
"Letty, I have been to Iraq several times and I have complete faith in my training. That is why we have the training in basic training. I know it's going to be hard with Derek and I deployed but trust me I know how to come back in one piece." Tanner said while hugging me.
"Please, just come home. I need you to come home." I said with tears running down my face.
"I'll try my best to come home. But until I do I will try my best to write letters and call you when I can. In return you answer every letter and send me care packages. Does that sound like a deal?"
"It sure does."
YOU ARE READING
Angels Of Hope
RomanceLettie was a troubled mother that moved hallway across the United States with the help of her best friend, Tanner Rodriguez. She was abused by her husband, Jace. When her kids moved to Fayetteville NC she meet two people, Alexis and Derek. She start...
