Angels Of Hope

Chapter 29

Their aromatic fragrance overpowered every other scent that lingered in the room. Its delectable aroma pervaded the air- a melange of sugar, butter and dabs of crackling nuts.

So very tempting to grab and simply indulge in this decadent pleasure, or to merely inhale the gorgeous scent it emanated from its baked, warm depths. But I know that the cookies are for Derek and Tanner.

But I couldn't resist, the first bite, a delightful flavor flooded my mouth, and my senses basked in its luscious taste. There was a friable crunch, tangs of butter, pangs of sugar, all to coalesce to form a truly delicious baked sugar cookies.

As I sat down at the coffee table, it was old fashioned and mahogany, not one of those mass produced items with veneers over compressed fiber boards, but real wood right the way through.

As I got the boxes ready to start putting Derek and Tanner's care packages together. Dixie and Marcie came to me telling me that they had two drawings that they drew for Tanner and Derek that they want to enclose in the care package before the boxes was closed and packed up for shipping.

But as I got done I realized that I didn't put a letter in for Tanner.

My Dearest Tanner,

When you are with me the pain stops, or at least it once did. When I had hope that one day you'd come to me and stay, you were my medicine. These days the pain ebbs at first sight of you, then multiplies and I want to flee. Then you go and I miss you with a pain that sits in my guts like so much fire burning slow. Those flames belong in my heart, in my soul, yet no more. And in this hurricane of my soul, amid the endless winds that scream, I make no move. I can protect me, or you. I will choose you until there is no more of my mind or my body, whichever comes first; that is my vow, my oath upon the song of the birds, the light that scatters on still water, the sun that rises each new day.

I have never been very good at talking. Whenever I try to express the emotions whirling in my soul, my throat tightens blocking me from saying anything. So I will write. I never should have left, I realize that now. I chased after things that looked good, or men who were handsome but never truly had a place in my heart. You were always there for me every time I chased after one obsession or another. You quietly stood by my side supporting me. Though I didn't know it at the time, I loved you, you were more than just a best friend to me. I could tell you things easily and you just listened. You always made me laugh. I thought I had my life figured out, but I didn't. Without my knowing from the moment I first saw you real love began to take shape in my heart. I only truly realized it when I saw you at my apartment. I looked at you then and realized that I loved you. You were so different from the other guys I chased. You cared. Love radiated in your heart spilling out into the lives of all those around you. You weren't just handsome on the outside you had a beauty somewhere deep within. 

Love Always,
Letty

As I finished packing up the rest of the contents I put the letter to Tanner and the satellite phone on the top of the other contents of the box.

I put the drawings that Marcie and Dixie made for both of them in Derek's box and a little rabbits foot that Layne gave for both of them with drawings.

I sealed up the boxes put the address on the boxes and sat off to the post office to mail the care packages to the two men that are competing for my attention.