Baby Madness

Chapter 48

"Hoy, nakikinig ka ba?"

"No."

"Witch."

Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Queenie pero wala na akong energy para patulan pa siya. These past few days had been physically and emotionally tiring for me. I wanted a breathing space. Away from all the worries. From all the responsibilities. From all the heartaches.

"Si Jazer," biglang sabi ni Queenie kaya napalingon ako. I don't want to be in the same place with him right now. "Oh, it's a different guy. So it's because of him, huh?"

Tiningnan ko ulit siya nang masama dahil sa pantitrip niya. "Bitch," I swore but she just laughed it off.

After that failed confession, I couldn't look straight at him anymore. On the other hand, he was acting as if nothing had happened. Binabati niya pa rin ako, nagtatanong tungkol sa subjects at tinutulungan akong alagaan sina Czanelle at Clark. Iniisip ko tuloy kung wala lang sa kanya ang nangyari.

Maybe, I thought. He already said he doesn't deserve me.

I sighed dejectedly. Idagdag pa na darating na sina Mom and Dad two weeks from now. Hindi pa ako handang harapin ang katotohanang 'yon. Pakiramdam ko, ayaw talaga ng tadhana na sumaya ako. Maybe this was my karma for constantly rejecting my family for years.

"So, what? You're back to being a coward again?" Queenie taunted and for a second, I wanted to punch her so she'd shut up.

"Better than getting hurt," I retorted.

Tiningnan naman niya ako na parang may sinabi akong mali. I shouldn't have told her about that night. Bakit kasi sa lahat ng tao ay siya pa ang naisipan kong tawagan no'n? Bwisit.

"You already got hurt," she added. "Besides, may pag-asa pa naman."

"Don't give me false hopes. He already said he doesn't deserve me."

"Alam mo, minsan, 'di ko alam kung masyado ka lang in-denial o sadyang tanga ka talaga."

"Wow? Akala mo kung sinong marunong kung makapagsalita."

"Duh? At least marunong akong magbasa ng body language ng isang tao at mag-read between the lines."

"Congratulations, then. You want a medal or something?"

"Oh, god, ang sarap mong i-umpog sa pader," sabay irap niya.

"You're so—"

"He said 'yet,' right?" tanong niya at natigilan naman ako. "He's my classmate in one of my general elective subjects and she talks about you a lot. Clearly, he has feeling for you, but he opted not to pursue you yet because of, I don't know, personal reasons maybe?"

"What—"

"Ang problema sa'yo, ang bilis mong sumuko. Because you feel like you don't deserve to be loved. That you are not loved. Try to think positively, witch."

I was quiet for a few seconds. I didn't expect that she'd throw those words to me. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung dapat ba akong mainis o matawa.

"Huh," I snorted after her lengthy pointers. "What are you, a love guru?"

"Well, at least, I'm better than you in that field."

"Kadiri ka, bahala ka nga diyan," sabi ko sabay tayo dahil malapit na ang next class ko.

"Oh sure, crybaby. Call me if you're going to cry so that I can record it again."

"Bwisit ka."

"Aww, so sweet."