i've learned to hate myself, and i hope you haven't learned the same. unfortunately many teens and even adults don't like anything about themselves, or don't think they're good enough. you don't have to be enough for someone, just for yourself. that might be hard to do. whether or not you know it, you're already living for yourself, you must be doing something right.
taking your life. not from yourself, but from others. once you're gone, you can't miss yourself. you can't look back on some of the best memories of your life and start crying because you won't make any more. you can't look back on those memories and laugh because they made you feel best you have in a long time. it's a void.
the void can be filled. sure, by darkness. emptiness. can something be filled with emptiness? sadly, the answer is yes. all you may feel is nothing. there are plenty of things around you to fill the void with. everywhere you look, except maybe inside of your mind, there is something. don't let darkness become you. light finds the darkness, not the other way around.
people. the first and best solution. they're wonderful, unique, terrible creations. they may be uncontrollable, but who said they aren't influenceable? they have minds of their own, similar to any other human you've met. though different. their mind may know what you need more than you do. they may be able to see the signs before you do, if you even see them at all. when you can't feel love for yourself, it's likely that they can. if you can't find a single thing you like about yourself, they might see infinitely many.
people are everywhere. opportunities are everywhere.
feelings and emotions are intangible and dense. you can't touch love, although you can feel it. sometimes it shows itself through a heartbeat. a smile. a conversation. to contradict myself, you can feel love through a hug, kiss, or holding hands. the simple act of sitting next to someone and watching a movie could show how much you love that person. for me, a hug, conversation, and smile can show me your true colors and what you think of me. i know what i think about you by my heart rate and how often i smile around you.
i'm grateful to know the people i do. i'm grateful to have conversations about tennis in chemistry because the class is boring. to poke someone's back and have them turn around and smile because they know it's me by my two finger tap. to say goodbye post-sweat, only to see everyone the next day pre-sweat. i'm grateful to have the opportunity to love them. i'm ready to cheer for them at their best moments and support them in their worst. to watch them so they know i care. i'm just ready. it's what i fill the void with.
-zoomercate if you understood the specifics of the last part im proud of u😤
guys i did the thing where i have two genius paragraphs then i have to make up everything else and hope it works ew
