Painful love[bl]

Chapter 7

« I love you in the time. I will love you until the end of the time. And when the time is up, then, I will have loved you. And nothing of this love, like anything that has been, can ever be erased. »

-unknown

QingYu ignored whatever the scene in front of him was displaying, after all, he was a cruel and ruthless emperor, he would never pity anyone, no matter who they were, no matter how pitiful they were. especially not such a scheming man.
So, with a very cold smirk on his face, he continued "is this some kind of new plan, trying to make me believe that you actually became a better mother, that you do not care about me anymore? wow, really a disgusting person"

Such eyes.
Such stunning and beautiful eyes.
Eyes that just a second ago mirrored the state of a broken person.
but now, they held so much determination and strength.
Such strong eyes, that QingYu couldn't help but get fascinated.

Yu Yan slammed his hands on the table as he stood up, knocking down his chair along the way.
It hurts.
It hurts so much.
It hurts so much that he found it so very hard to breath.
But he was not going to let this pain control him. Nor is he just going to sit down and ignore whatever thing this man decided to say about him.
Not this time anyway.
In the past, he may not have been the best person out there. No, he was a horrible, selfish and arrogant person.
So selfish that he didn't care about the boy that was supposed to be the most important person in his life.
And every time he remembers that this man was the reason why he was like that, the man that even until now didn't give a fuck about him, the anger he'll feel would be endless.

It's true, that right now, he didn't care anymore about whatever this man thought about him, but for him to think that he could be capable of hurting his own son, how was he supposed to just let it go?
He looked QingYu straight in the eyes, something that not many people can do, the man in front of him was probably the strongest man in the continent, his presence alone was enough to make your breathing stop.
Truly, a terrifying monster.
But this was also proof that Yu Yan had amazing talent and skills.
If he didn't have extraordinary qualifications, he would not have been able to marry him.

Thinking about this, he opened in a voice, calm and clear, yet, it was full of anger, sadness and regret, not knowing that those words, his next words, would change everything.
"do not tell me l am empty. that I have no soul. that your eyes pierce through mine and make you feel nothing. don't tell me that your expectation of me was not fulfilling enough. do not tell me who I am, or rather, who you think I am. I do not want to hear it. I do not want to give in to it. I have been through hell or at least, I think I have. I have been through enough or at least, enough to make me feel as if l do not need to express myself as you desire, give myself how you want me to. I cannot read your mind. I cannot do the things you would like me to do. I have my own mind. my own heart. my own darkness and my own light. and sometimes I carry them on my hands, in plain sight for people like you to see. and most of the time they go unnoticed. my weep goes silent. my heart breaks without making a sound. but I'm not falling apart over it. I know how strong I am. I know what I have been through and I understand how much more I have to endure. so yes, I do love you. I do care. I do think about you when you are not around. I just do not know how to show it without making a part of you angry. and without making a part of you believe that I am not the one for you. it is just... this is the best way I know how and sometimes I know it is not enough. and I know it hurts, both ways, too...so here, this might be only a lie, but I will say it anyway,I don't care about what you think, I don't care about you, but you do not have the right, you absolutely do not have the right, to say that I could be able to hurt my son,my own son, QingYu."

Oh no, now I feel like crying
Yu Yan took a deep breath, trying to calm his emotions down.
A normal person would never, never talk to the emperor in such way.
That would absolutely lead them to their death. A very painful death may he say.
But Yu Yan was everything but a normal person. And their's no way QingYu would think about hurting him. Not for the mean time anyway.

He smiled, a very provocative and mocking smile, the smile that made QingYu realize, for the first time, just how incredibly attractive the empress was.
"If you'll excuse me then, you're majesty, I still have things to take care of"
Yu Yan didn't know, no, he didn't know that everything would change from that point onwards.
The only thing in his mind at that time, was that he finally made a term to everything.
Oh how naive he was.

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QingYu gazed at the spot where Yu Yan was standing just minutes ago, he couldn't get that face, those eyes, those enchanting blue eyes that were free of any kind of malice, or the lust that he was so used to see, out of his mind.
He lifted his head towards the sky for a second, then glanced right, a tall, robust man, dressed all in black immediately appeared.
" Don't you dare leave the empress side from now on" the voice that came out was so cold, that even the man who went through unimaginable torturous training , couldn't help but flinch.
"As you wish, your majesty."
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Finally!! I'm the one who feels like crying here.😭😭😭
Anyway, I'm really sorry for the late update!!
By the way, can you guess the characters who said the quote at the beginning, as well as the one on the last chapter?