The Unfinished

008

oh wow, i'm alive.

this break from writing was desperately needed. it was a tough time, a weird time, but i got through it. it's one of those transition moments, you know?

hope you enjoy.

***

September 2018

Hello, again.

Just like we started, I'll actually say it back this time.

There's something I'm going to confess, and maybe you'll be hurt. Maybe you won't be. Either way, it's something you should definitely hear.

By now, you probably know that I've closed the door on this part of my story. I don't mean to say that maybe I won't open it from time to time when I encounter something that reminds me of you, but I don't want to spend more time wallowing in the in-between. You know, that feeling of should I or should I not. I'm done.

So as far as what I'm going to tell you, I'm going to say I'm sorry ahead of time. You always tell me to stop apologizing for things that aren't my fault, but I think this is definitely something that deserves an apology up front.

I may or may not have used you as an outlet for my emotions from before we knew each other really well. It's been quite a while and I realize now, but coming fresh off of a wave of confusion about another person and jumping into something new was not a smart move. Looking back, all I can really say is that you deserved much better and that I feel more guilty than you think I'm capable of feeling.

That being said, there's another thing I should definitely address. While in hindsight I realize I was in the wrong, it occurs to me that you were going through the exact same thing.

I know she's someone you've known for much longer than you've known me, but I think we both used our unstable judgment in that moment as a dumping ground for our emotions. I mean, I can't really blame you for still having feelings for someone you used to hang out with, partially because I did the same thing, but partially because I'll always want the best for you.

Regardless of what happened and what will happen, you should know that I don't regret a single moment we spent together. Thank you for helping me grow and mature as a person, and I'm glad that I can close this door knowing that I'm happy with what I left behind.

See you around, Viola Boy.