Album of Memories||TMNT Oneshots||

It's Not Sad, It's Empty

                   See end for Author's Notes
Quote: "Sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head."
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*Human AU*
AN: Very, very, very not normal. This is very dark, pretty twisted and contains suicidal thoughts/actions, self-harm, child abuse. So viewed discretion is advised. This is a human AU and has absolutely no correlation to the plot of TMNT just the characters turned into humans. I don't really describe what they look like much since there are too many ways to interpret them. Use your imagination!

He'd just check one more time, just to be sure. He could have missed the buzzing or the light emitting from the screen, what with him not paying attention. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to just have one teensie little peak. Just in case.

It had been 2190 hours since Donatello had last received a text or call. Three months since he's seen his screen light up with something more than a nasty comment on his SnapGram, or VidTube notifying him that his favorite vidtubers just uploaded. Though he didn't mind the second one, it just meant more time to watch meaningless content alone in his room while everyone else was out partying or having fun.

It seemed like a reoccurring thing.

The nights he spent stalking people of their chat rooms and seeing all his peers hanging out with their friends, drinking, smoking and just being kids. And he was stuck in his room, staring at a blank ceiling with eyes that held nothing. And the only light in the gloomy room came from the comment section rolling in, constantly lighting up his screen. And although they weren't exactly kind comments, he was thankful that someone was even acknowledging him. Even if it was to rant about how ugly and worthless he was.

Donnie didn't have that many friends, which was the main reason he spent nights alone like this one, doing nothing in the dark but feeling sorry for himself, and occasionally gorging on heaping piles of food (only to remember how much calories were in that feast of junk food, and purge himself until he was sure every ounce was out).

He'd never forget the words he got for posting a picture of himself in swimming trunks. Now, he didn't need to be reminded about how his stomach wasn't flat, or how thick his arms and legs were with fat. Or how his pecks sagged because of the extra weight and just how incredibly heavy he looked.

Donnie always thought of himself as weak and scrawny, but according to every other person in school, he was bigger than a whale.

So tonight, he decided against eating his feelings, knowing in the end, it would only cause him pain. Instead, he found more effective ways to cope. While they weren't exactly healthy, or any less painful then forcing himself to throw up, he did them anyways. Something quieter than hacking into a toilet, and easier to control, though not easy to clean up.

But it wasn't like his parents were going to find out, he couldn't even remember the last time they had come into his room. Let alone been home for more than a few hours.

The genius just supposed be was lucky that his parents didn't care enough to check in with him, or watch his social media (he didn't need another reason for them to be disappointed in him). While his father, Saki, often worked late nights at his own company- a business in which he never told his son exactly what they do- his mother, Shēn, was off who knows where most of the days. Donnie had theorized that his mother was a spy, sent on secret missions, and worked for the FBI to keep her family safe and the world from danger. He quickly crossed that idea when he realized that she didn't exactly care much for her family at all.

Donatello wouldn't even call her a mother anymore. Shēn had divorced her husband three years after Don was born, and was currently dating another man by the name of Yoshi. Mr. Hamato was the nicest man the young teen had ever meant, his a kind smile and eyes that lit up even the darkest of space with such passion and love. The man was obviously head-over-heels for Donatello's mother, and Shēn had fallen deeply in love with the man as time went on. She still lived with her ex-husband, which had put Yoshi off at first, but he didn't seem to mind after awhile.