XX. Finding Thomas

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XX. Finding Thomas

"Please! Let's leave!" I begged of Pamela. Patuloy pa rin siyang tulala at naka-tingin sa pinanggalingan ng putok. Patuloy pa rin sa pagwawala ang buong sistema ko sa pag-iisip na baka sundan niya ako... na baka ako naman...

I was tempted to push her off of her seat and to just drive away. I didn't want to be here for any more second! I wanted to leave! I didn't want to take the risk of staying and him finding out that I was here!

"Mallary!" Pamela shouted. "Umayos ka nga!"

"No! Let's leave!"

"And what? Leave Thomas alone?!"

"Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi, 'di ba? Wala siyang kwentang tao! Kaya bakit—"

But we both stopped when I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek when she slapped me.

"Look at yourself! Are you really—"

I nodded, with my lips quivering in fear. "You don't know him... You don't know what he'll do if he sees me..."

Lumambot ang tingin niya sa akin. Alam ko na nagdadalawang-isip siya kung iiwan namin si Thomas. But I was right. If... If it were really him... walang pag-asa na buhay pa siya. Sigurado ako. Dahil kung akong sariling niyang dugo ay nagawa niyang saktan... paano pa sa ibang tao?

"Okay..." she said, giving in. She began to drive. The farther we got, the more at ease I felt. But even then, I couldn't stop the trembling of my fingers. I couldn't shake the feeling off.

I was petrified.

I would never stop being scared of him.

"Where are we?" I asked when we stopped at a building. Pamela stopped inside the parking lot.

"It's David's place."

Umiling ako. "No. I won't include David in this," matigas kong sabi. I would include literally anyone in this fucking mess except for David. Hindi ako papayag na madamay siya sa gulo na 'to.

"Mallary—"

"No," I firmly said, cutting her off.

She sighed. "Pero saan ka titira? You know you can't go back to Molly's unit dahil alam iyon ng tatay mo."

"I... I don't know. I'll figure something out," I said. "But not here. I won't stay here."

She nodded. "Okay. But please contact David. Nag-aalala siya sa 'yo."

Umiling ako. "No. Please... please tell him that I won't be talking to him anytime soon," sabi ko bago ako mabilis na lumabas ng sasakyan. I didn't want to talk to David and risk my father knowing about him. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko kung pati siya ay madamay sa gulo ng buhay ko.

Naglakad ako hanggang sa makarating ako sa labas. I walked as quickly as I could, trying to evade any attention that I might get. I just wanted to get away.

"San po tayo, Ma'am?" the driver asked.

"Just drive," I said, looking out the window, trying to see if someone was following me. I couldn't rest. I... I just couldn't rest after knowing that I almost saw him. That... that what if we arrived earlier? What if I was there when he arrived? Ano ang gagawin niya?

Ano ang gagawin ko?

"Ma'am... saan po ba talaga kayo? Kanina pa tayo paikot-ikot."

My lips parted upon noticing the mixture of orange and pink hues on the sky. Ni hindi ko napansin ang pagtakbo ng oras dahil sa labis na pag-aalala sa pwedeng mangyari.

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