Undesirable

Chapter One

This story is being rewritten for the last time. This is the absolute finish once it's all published. 

I apologize for my two or three year hiatus, I have severe writers block and have lost the art of entertainment in a story. I hope this final update in this story is what I was looking for. This book trilogy is now just two stories long. There will not be a third book like originally discussed back in 2019. For everyone who has already read this story before, I want you all to know this book is changing. Some things may be similar but this book has changed, and is changing. Will not be so immature, and will most definitely have more accurate facts, on top of more detailed. So if anyone was originally disappointed with the outcome, please give me a second chance to prove immaturity is what made the story lack. Thank you for everyone who has stuck around. Much love, 

Audrey, 23' version 

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"Eat a burger." Sydney, my best friend tells me as we sit down at the cafeteria table.

"Eat less of them." I smiled unpacking my lunch bag, a salad I made this morning, with some slices of seasoned chicken. Sydney had the school lunch, literally a burger, some highly processed fries, and some pork and beans on the side. She looked at me, then her food, then mine, "Don't you ever get tired of eating the same thing every day Tess."

"Not really. It's great nutrition, the spinach protects my immune system, the olive oil dressing has no processed chemicals or extra fat in it. The chicken—"

"Blah blah blah is all I'm hearing out of your mouth. You seriously need to eat more I can wrap my arms around you 9 times, you're so tiny."

The other girls started sitting at our table surrounding us with extra noise. Being popular when I didn't even want it in the first place, sucks. I can't handle all the attention. Everyone constantly looking at me, comparing me to Charlotte, while comparing their own bodies. The rumors, the slut shaming, the body shaming, everything is nothing close to what I expected when I went to public school for the first time my freshman year.

The football boys surrounded the cheerleader's table, everyone huffing loud and talking was so smudged together you could barely hear what they were saying unless you were right there.

"World to Tessa." Emmaline said to me, waving her hand in front of my face. "Stop staring at Asher, you're way too good for him." They all laughed.

I didn't even realize I was staring at him. He's blonde, muscular, the football letterman jacket they have with the school emblem. He's just so good looking. "I'm too busy for boys, there's no way I'm interested in him." I replied back.

"Sure that's why you were totally undressing him with your eyes." Haelee said to me.

I hate mentioning it but I'm the biggest virgin in this whole school, I'm pretty sure in the whole town of Pueblo. I might be saving myself for marriage but in no way do I not want it. I crave it sometimes. I Never touch myself, or anything crazy like that but I do think about it all the time; what it would feel like, penetration, their mouth, everything I've ever learned from all my friends, I want to know what it feels like. What virgin doesn't.

"I wasn't. Just seeing where all the noise comes from." I smiled.

We continued talking for the remainder of our lunch break. We talked about the game coming up, the party they're all gonna go to, and most importantly prom this Saturday.

I can't tell you how badly I want to do all of these things with them, and wish I wasn't so strict with myself. I just can't let my mind slip into the horribleness of greed, lust and selfishness.