Blogbuster - A comedy-laced blogger sci-fi thriller

4 - Bam into me

Bam.

He stood on the street, next to his BMX retrobike, feeling the afternoon sun shining down on him. It was the late summer burn making the air feel thick and chokey with every breath. His sweat tasted salty on his tongue, or maybe that was the result of the impending pressure. The pressure of two hundred and twenty-five people around the globe, tuned in to see him live. Two hundred and twenty-five peeps eager to see what Bam did next. Eager to see where Bam went bam!

“Wait for it,” he said on his video blog, and they did. Because Bam never disappointed. 

“Are you ready ?”

He logged into the comment section. Twenty-three watchers wrote ‘yes’ in realtime. They were ready the second he announced his stunt. Bam sighed. Here he was about to risk his life, and only twenty-three people bothered to comment. It wasn’t fair. Still, he had to show up, do his shtick. Today, a few hundred peeps. Tomorrow, millions. At least that was the lie he told himself daily when no one was around.

So Bam raised his chin, looked skyward. It was a clear blue kind of day, not a single cloud in the sky. But with all the smog, you couldn’t tell. The sky was covered in fifty shades of grey.

“Do it, Bam, Do it,” one commenter said.

“Yes, hurry up, before my boss passes by my cubicle and realizes I’m not working,” a female fan said.

“Bam, Bam, Bam.”

Oh, those fans. 

Gotta compel ‘em all.

Bam turned his glance back to the street. Not a single soul or vehicle on the asphalt, except for the wooden ramp shaped towards the sky. It’s on, he said to himself. But when he began to get into position, he noticed a small dot descending from the nearby brick building. First it looked like a plane, or a satellite, but the dot zigzagged closer and closer, till it appeared five meters above Bam’s head. It was a black, quadcopter-style drone humming from above.

“Booh,” Bam said under his breath. The drone pointed its sensors at him. Unleashed beep beep sounds. Bam squinted.

“Do me a favor, droney, and get the hell away from here, I’m in the middle of a stunt.”

The drone didn’t speak English, so it circled around him with more mechanical and digital sound effects. Bam flipped it off and checked his video blog channel, where comments from the community flooded in.

“Maybe it has a crush on you, Bam.”

“Uh-oh, it’s going to give you a headshot now.”

“Maybe it wants to watch your stunt, too.”

The drone rang out another beep sound before it elevated over the nearby building. The smog swallowed it up, finally, Bam thought. He took his BMX and rolled it into position. Watched a half dozen people standing on the sidewalk, fingers poised to hit the record button at the start of the action. Some gave him two thumbs up, others flipped him the middle finger. Fans and trolls alike.

“You can do it, Bam,” a red-haired girl said. 

She held up a sign smeared with cursive letters. It read, ‘Bam into me’.

Which was fan lingo for ‘marry me’. Bam smiled, shot her the victory pose. Even from afar, he could see the girl’s face blushing in pink colors. What a cutie, but he needed to focus on the stunt for the few fans that cared.

He grabbed the BMX handles, shifted his butt around the seat. No matter how much he swayed, he couldn’t find a comfortable position. He never did. Whatever. He turned one last time to his community.

“Here I come, world, are you watching ?” 

A few were.

Let’s do this.

He pushed the pedals and rolled into motion toward the ramp. His bike dashed across the asphalt, Bam the Blitz. The rubber tires grabbed the road. Both bystanders and houses blurred as he passed by. Bam entered the ramp with fifty kilometers, shot up and reached midair. 

Vooosh.

This feeling

Floating on cloud nine

High above the disappointment

Into the sky of possibilities

Reaching for the stars

Until…