I. Kin

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"She's here!" 

I heard, as I enter home or should I say, a place I used to call home. My step brother and step-mom welcomed me so warmly. But of course, there will always be the feeling of lacking and incompleteness, since Papa had died-My one and last blood-related family, or at least for all I have known. When he was alive, since Mom had left us and never came back, we didn't take it well together. I would always push him out of my life to isolate myself to make things much worse for my life. I really do take it back, but I can't, he's gone now and it's too late. We even became much more apart when he fell in-love with my step-mom. Maybe, I thought maybe he did it to teach me a lesson, that he won't always have to go after me while I thought I was all he got. Though, he deserved the happiness and love he received from my step mom. After all, I took it from him, kind of. Luckily, I didn't have to witness whatever more he could be happier about because I finally, I had to go away for college. Not that I feel like I'm a loss for him, but he was always there for me, and I wasn't there for him. When I went away, I feel more comfortable, to do whatever I want without having to concern him because he didn't have to. I feel less alone when I went away. But just when I thought things are getting better for me, all of the sudden, I receive a news that while he went away to trade one of his clock collections, he died of a car accident. It's depressing. I know. I didn't take it well either. I didn't come to his funeral and locked myself in my apartment for one and a half week. My step mom kept calling me, she was kind to say she will always be here for me and to remind me that he always loved me and how he planned out my future for me if I ever came close to him. I'm just too late. And this all happened right before christmas so I went "home" for christmas to spend it with my "family". And it's true, they are kind and open to have me, just like my dad.

"Honey!" Mathilda welcomed me with her arms open. "Welcome home!" She warmly smiled at me and I slyly smiled and hugged her back while I peek at Jacob and Jessie waiting in line to hug me. And so I turn to them while Mathilda softly rubs my back and they both hug me at the same time. My tears of course, had cascaded down my cheek and I certainly did not allow it or plan on it but it just did. 

"Cady, we bought you an ugly sweater, we hope you don't mind looking ugly with us." As while Jacob presented me the green jacket with random patterns of santa's head and head of a deer in odd colors.

"I don't. I'll go get changed and wear it." I smile at them.

"Well, you better because I'm going to start preparing the table." As so Mathilda turns to the Kitchen. 

Before I head upstairs, Jessie comes to me and held my hand, "Did you like the decorations? I decorated them with Jacob and Mom, but mostly it was my idea." She's become cuter from the last time I remember I came close to her.

"Yes, the house looks very lively and christmas-y." And her smile became even wider and she went back near the christmas tree. As I went upstairs, I looked over the room of where dad used to spend his time cleaning and correcting his collection of clocks. I came closer to the room and it was the same as the last time I had seen it. It had thousands of clocks, hanged, some neatly presented in frames, some are big, some are small, some are in the glass table, and all his tools neatly organized in his table. I never came close to his room because I hated the sounds of ticks and tocks. But when Mom left, he then turned off all his clocks, put out the batteries or if he can, he removed the noise come from off it or whatever, maybe so if I ever needed him, I can just go to the room where he always busied himself. My room were far from where his clock room is. The formation from the stairs was his clock room, a little storage room, the master's bed room, an art studio or it used to be, it now has nothing but boxes from when Mathilda and her children had moved in, they had too many things so they just stored it in there. Then a guest room which is now Jacob's and Jessie's room, and that is next to finally, my room. I opened my door which had a paper taped to it. "Do not enter", I remember having to write it because Jessie never knocks before entering. 

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