heartbreak hotel

heartbreaker

I was sitting on the couch, dressed all in the clothes Omar had given me, a fresh pair of balenciaga shoes to top of my look. I was planning on doing my hair today but he hasnt been home yet. It was late, Flo came argued a hell of a lot with Omars mother, his mother left storming out.

"Shes unbelievable, donde esta Omar?" She asked. I shook my head.

"He left, ¿Deberíamos estar preocupados?" I asked Flo who shook her head.

"Omar, he is, niño con problemas" she said. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"How do you mean?" I asked.

"No debería decir, it is not my place" she said. She smiled at me.

"Omar, he hides himself from me. He thinks i do not see his pain, he thinks i do not know the secrets he hides. I see" she told me.

"¿Qué quieres decir?" I asked confused. Her thick accent hard to understand.

"I see more than you both think, i do not know you, but i see the way You look at Omar, i see the way he looks at you. amor" she said. I flushed a pink colour.

"You have it wrong. Me and Omar are just friends." I said. She rolled her eyes.

"Child, you are only young, you have your whole life ahead. Do not face it with fear. If you and Omar are "just friends" then so be so." She said walking away from me. I watched her as she did so.

So was he gay? Was he Bisexual? Because she said "the way he looks at you" and i couldnt stop thinking about it. How did Omar look at me?

###

I was almost asleep in bed when i heard the door to the frobt of the appartment open. I heard more than one person. I listened closely, itnwasnt late so it could be anyone but theres not much to do when Omar wasnt around.

"Is he here?" I heard a voice. It was farmiliar but i couldnt place it.

"I hope so Ski" i heard Omars voice. Stokeley was obviously the other person. I got up and walked to the room door opening it. Both men turned to look at me.

"Hay" i said to them. Then looking to the floor. Blishing when i realised i was only in my boxers.

"Gazzy" Omar said relieved. He walked up to me. He lifted my chin to look at him. "Gazzy im so sorry for earlier, i..." he stopped talking and leaned down, he took me by surprise, placing a chased kiss on my lips. I blinked and it was over.

Stoke cleared his thoat. No wonder, all them ciggaretts got this dudes thoat fucked up.

"Im just... im gonna go, call me tomorrow" he said. Omar nodded but didnt turn around to look at him. His eyes stayed on mines.

"Omar?" I asked snapping him out of his day dream.

"Yeah?" He asked. The hotel door closed and Omar took my hand pulling me over to the couch.

"Whats going on? Where have you been all day?" I asked.

"Ive been with Ski. We managed to get in touch with my brother" he said, i nodded. "I had to move all that shit for my moms and i found information about the school my brother was at. I called him and i think im going to get him home Gazzy" he told me. I was confused. He never spoke about his brother before.

"Im happy you got to speak to your brother" i smiled at him. He smiled back.

"My moms, she sent him to school in new york. Im gonna pay for him to be transferred here. Since my father, he isnt micheals father. My mom cheated on him, hes the same age as you and everything. Youre gonna love him Gazzy" Omar kept talking, but i zoned him out. I kept imagining a younger Omar. I kept envisioning me getting thrown out because we didn't get on, or him taking my room and Omar making me go back to the streets.

Sometimes i felt like Omar didnt even like me anyway. I loved this man but he was so hard to read. I couldn't tell if he loved me back or if i imagined his face when he looked at me with blown out eyes like he loved me.

"Gazzy are you listening?" He pulled me from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I asked.

"I said im sorry for pushing you away, its just... Gazzy i really like you, and i aint ever felt this way about another nigga" he told me. My heard pounded. Did... did Omar just say he liked me? What do i say back? How do i react to this?

"I know its sudden. Ive only known you a week for fuck sake but Gazzy, you're driving me crazy, i aint ever had feelings for a guy like i have with you. You're so much like me in so many ways and i pushed you away and im sorry for that. I shouldn't have hurt you" he continued. I felt the same way. Sure ive had crushes and ive had to do a few things to keep myself safe but with Omar i felt safe.

"If it wasnt obvious i feel the same." Was all i could say back. He sighed, i couldnt look in his eyes.

"So what now?" He asked. I had no idea how to answer this.

"Omar. I'm 18, i been here for almost a week now and ive over stayed my welcome, i think i should go, you've never felt like this, maybe its just pitty for me thats made you feel like you liked me." I said.

"No, where you gonna go? Back on the streets? I cant let you go back out there Gaz"

"Ive already decided. Ill stay tonight and tomorrow im going back to my friends. You need to get your life back to normal. Ive just crashed in and caused problems." I said getting emotional.

He just pittied me. It was the truth. He doesn't love me.

"Gazzy i said no. I wont let you go back out there alone. I got you, you got everything you need right here." He said. The thing was. All i needed was Omar.

As if he read my mind,He leaned down and kissed me hard. I struggled with myself for a while before kissing back, he pushed himself over me so i had to lay down on the sofa, soft moans escaping from my lips. Even though i was enjoying myself i still had flash backs, it happened every time. I could never be like normal people.

He used his hands to grab my hips and involuntary my hips pushed up Omars away, a groan came from him, i tried to remind myself this was someone i cared about. Someone who wpuldnt hurt me but i couldnt. I squirmed away as his hands pushed up my tshirt.

"Hmm, stop" i said pushing his chest away, detaching our lips.

"Im sorry i jus..."

"Its not that... i cant do it" i said blushing. Omar blushed too and nodded.

"Its... its hard for me to, well like, do this" i said embarrissed. Omar nodded and sat up.

"Im sorry, i really am sorry" i said as tears built up. But i didnt want to cry.

"Dont be Gazzy, ill wait as long as you need, just please dont leave me" he told me. I nodded.

"Im gonna go for a shower" i said getting up and walking away. Trying to wash the memories away.