14.Let's Find a Way

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Jack gets away before I can ask for more details and I walk into the main room of the club dazed and confused.

It doesn't take long before I find Xander though — he's made sure we've got some nice seats for the first show so he's occupying one of the couches closest to the stage.

"You're late," he tells me.

The reproach in his words only adds to the many pangs of distress piercing my stomach right now.

"I'm sorry," I say blandly and sit beside him on the black couch.

Dan is kneeling on the floor between me and his Master who is resting his feet on Coach's back — the mountain of a man makes for a very large footstool as he is stuck on his palms and knees offering his spine for use. No knee pads. Is that 'fucked up' or is it his choice and that makes it 'not fucked up'?

My head is in a messy state and I'm questioning everything.

Xander's fingers lace with mine.

"What's wrong?" he asks rather worried.

I shake my head and shrug. Where do I even begin? And is now even the time and place to go over such things? I'm soaked in doubt and entirely pulled out of any Dom mindset that I could muster.

"I just need a moment," I answer eventually and squeeze Xander's fingers.

"My sweet boy can help you relax. Or would you rather I did it?" he purrs in my ear while his free hand caresses my thigh.

Sweet Boy, Dan, is looking up from his knelt position, probably because he knows that I don't mind a Sub's gaze on me. Although the light is dim, I can still make out the sparks of lust in his eyes. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's not lust at all. Maybe it's fear and I'm fucked up in the head. Although that's silly — why would Dan fear me?

I cover my face and close my eyes. This is bad. This feels like a drop. This makes my skin crawl.

What did I do with Gene back in September? What scene did we play? I'm struggling to remember everything I can from that night, everything from five months ago.

"Master Trent," Xander sighs the name and kisses my neck while sliding my hand away from my face.

I don't feel like much of a Master anymore. I just want to go home and crawl under a blanket in my lonely couch. But I'm not alone and Xander, Dan and Coach need their playtime.

"Would you pull your Sweet Boy up on your lap, Master Xander, so I can watch while you tease him during the show?" I ask plainly and smile a little.

"That's a great idea," he says and then adds in a whisper close to my ear, "You still need a moment, don't you?"

"Yeah, I'll be no fun during the show," I admit in a hushed tone and gently peck Xander's cheek while my fingers caress his pretty blond locks.

Despite the frown of confusion, he nods and doesn't pry any longer. That's good. I'm sorry, Xander, but we'll talk when I figure out what the heck is going on.

"Come here, boy," Master Xander reaches down and guides Dan into position — facing the scene while straddling Xander's lap.

The lights that bathe the stage become brighter announcing the start of the show.

I can't focus much on the Dom and Sub performing, not even on Xander's handling of Dan's body. My mind isn't in this moment. I'm recalling the night when I met Gene.

A brunette with bangs covering his eyes, skinny and pale — this is how I remember him.

The club was busy that Saturday. All I could think about was Jack. Even after three weeks since our first and only scene I still had hope that he'd make time to show up at the club. 'Busy with work' had been his excuses.

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