A Broken Heart [A Loki Fanfiction] [COMPLETED]

Chapter 4

... Loki smiled and left the dining room, shutting the door behind him. He went to his bedroom and lay in his bed.

His brother had actually shown him bits of affection. Finally, he thought, breathing out a sigh of relief as his eyelids closed. He remembered how he always doubted his brother's love, wondering whether it was just pity in disguise, and he was relieved to have that settled, at last. It was a dream that had finally come true; after his mother's death, he felt as if he had no one –as if no one truly cared about him anymore– but now he knew. Thor's brotherly love was a fact. But is it a fact? What if he says this only to manipulate you any time he wants?

"No," he mumbled to himself. "No, Thor is not like that." I am the manipulator of the family. Odin too, I guess. He felt a pinch of hate for himself.

That's what you think. But are you who he thinks you are? You are self-destructive and suicidal, but he only realized this when he saw your wounds. How can you be sure that Thor is who he says and shows he is?

"Oh, come on..." he grumbled to himself. Sometimes he really couldn't stand his mind's bullshit –but was it truly just bullshit? 

He sat up and put his elbows on his knees. You shouldn't trust him! You shouldn't trust anybody!

"Ugh..."

At that moment, Thor entered the room. Goodness gracious, couldn't he just leave him alone? Loki was a damn adult –the fact that he was self-destructive didn't mean he was like a child that needed babysitting at all times.

"How are you, brother?" the God of Thunder asked.

"Never been better," Loki mocked as a response.

"Come on, brother, cheer up a little!"

"Kinda hard. You came in a bad moment."

"Bad? Why is it bad? What happened?"

"I just..." His voice trailed off as he struggled to find the right words. So embarrassing for someone supposed to have a silver tongue. "After realising I am adopted, it's been hard to believe in people's words –no matter how much I try to– because I realised that I've been living in a lie my entire life. You say you love me as your brother and don't care about what I am or what I've done, and even though I desperately want to believe you, brother, there's a voice in my head telling me not to. And it drives me crazy. I was mumbling to myself just before you came in." Thor remained silent. "I'm insane," Loki grumbled.

He stood up and begun walking the floor. Nobody loves you and nobody ever will. You are nothing, just one more problem. You always cause destruction; people die wherever you go.

His pace became quicker and tenser, and Thor didn't fail to notice. Oh, he wanted more than anything in the world to help Loki, but he didn't know how, didn't know what he could do except for looking at him with that worried look on his face.

You are a failure, a murderer, a monster... Oh this voice... Why wouldn't it stop? It was in his own head –why couldn't he just shut it down? And, dear heavens, why was he feeling like this? Loki had been so used to the emptiness inside him, and now there was that sudden outburst of emotions, and it made him weak. Made his knees tremble and his head spin.

There must've been something visibly wrong with him –maybe his tremble was intense enough to be noticed or maybe his breath was too heavy, because Thor rushed to his side. Before he could think it through, Loki clutched at his brother.

"Loki, what's wrong?" he asked with concern as he sat the young prince back to the edge of the mattress and took a seat beside him.

"I can't do this anymore," Loki mumbled, and oh goodness, was he crying now? In front of Thor? Great. Just great, he internally mocked himself, trying to make the tears stop by taking in quick short breaths and repeatedly wiping his eyes.

"It's all right, brother," Thor tried to comfort him as he patted on his shoulder sympathetically.

Loki's breath was heavy as he brushed his tears again once more, his heart beating steadily but loudly, painfully. "I'm sorry –I don't know what got into me," he murmured.

"You don't need to apologise."

"I should've known I'm adopted much sooner," Loki said with a bitter, coarse laugh. "Asgardians are not so whiny."

Thor stood up and looked at his brother with a you-are-not-whiny-I-wish-you-would-just-listen-to-me kind of look and then let out a long huff.

"Get some sleep, Loki. Take some rest. You need it".

"Yeah, okay."

Loki walked over to his wardrobe and brought out a pair of clothes –simple black trousers and a green shirt. "You can leave now if you want", he said. Thor walked towards the door. "And... goodnight, I guess."

"Goodnight to you too, brother."

Thor left, closing the door behind him, and Loki remained there, staring forwards without actually looking at something specific. "Yeah," he mumbled to himself. Goodnight. How good could a night be for someone who had a bunch of mental health issues going on?

He sighed and changed his clothes before slipping under his bedsheets. He placed his back on the pillow and raised his left sleeve. The wounds were not bleeding anymore. He touched them with his right hand and sighed. Then, he hid his arm and closed his eyes. Sleep came, and dreams did, too. But not all dreams bring peace and happy wishes into life –no, sometimes dreams can be even darker than life itself, and those of a twisted mind can only be just as twisted...

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Hey!!! I'm probably becoming repetitive, buuuuuuut... this was chapter four! If you enjoyed it, let me know by voting and commenting.

Anyway, I remind you once again (that repetition I mentioned before? Here it is) that, in case you find any errors in my text (grammar/vocabulary), please let me know in the comments so I can correct them!

Again (I'm being so repetitive that I've used the word 'repetitive' and its derivatives four times), thank you so much for choosing to read my book! ♥