Hamartia [Nanowrimo] | ✓

Eleven

The wind leaves soft kisses across her rosy cheeks as she wraps herself in a Christmas blanket. The night is cold and so is her soul. But nothing could compare, no, nothing could ever compare to the ice cracking inside her chest spreading the feeling of nothingness.

Her whole body felt numb as she stared up at the popcorn textured ceiling, just like yesterday when she got home. She thought that everything would go back to normal when she arrived that afternoon, but it didn't.

The first person she saw was Inigo and the first thing he said was 'Let's go to the hospital' and the first thing she said was 'no'. When Inigo had told her he was going to call her friends she also said no. It was odd, she knew that, but the whole situation was odd and strange for her.

She wanted to be home, truly be there, but she wasn't and that was the problem.

Tequila was secretly hoping that if she was still the missing girl for at least a few more seconds then maybe everything will click. Every piece of the puzzle would come together.

The sound of her door squeaking open pulled her out of her thoughts. Her head darted up to see Inigo standing in the door way. She immediately sat up in her bed, knowing this wasn't just a 'how are you' kind of conversation that was about to happen. 

He didn't even give her a chance to speak, "I'm sorry." His voice was low as he continued, "I should've been there. God, I should have been there Tequila and I am so sorry. I was so selfish-" 

Tequila interrupted him, "You're not selfish." 

"Yes I am," he argued, "I could've ignored Chelsea, I mean what was she doing at Lowes anyways? I guess I should blame her, but I can't. I should've just ignored her but she was standing right there and I just, I couldn't." His words were rushed while he paced across the room. 

"It's okay." Tequila reassured him. 

Inigo decided to ignore her as he continued with his speech. "When I came home and saw the door wide open I knew you were gone. I searched the whole town until it was daylight outside just to find you, but you were no where." 

Tequila sat in silence as she forced herself to keep quiet. She wanted to tell him all about the basement but she knew it didn't matter as of right now. 

"Nero for some reason wanted to tag alone, what an idiot, I should've told him to fuck off. You know, he had the nerve to look me straight in the eye and tell me 'I hope she is dead. You have no idea how badly I wanted to punch him right then. I mean he had the nerve to say that to me, to me, out of all people." 

"I don't blame him, Inigo," she said, "I killed our parents." Tequila's ears twitched at the sound of her brother moving about in her room, she had stopped watching because she couldn't handle it any longer. The look on his face was killing her. 

"Tequila," she heard him draw out, "don't blame yourself, please."

She sighed while her eyes closed shut. The images of the firey day it all happened came rushing back to her and the knot in her chest was still there. She sucked in air as she forced her eyes open.

"I watched her turn into ashes and I was in the next room when dad-" she stopped herself before her voice could get out of hand. She took in another breath as she thought of her next words. "You know, dad was the one who put out fires he was never supposed to start them." She let out an airy, short laugh before continuing. "I guess I was the match that started it all. I mean I looked so much like her, no wonder he wanted to kill himself."

"Tequila," he said sternly but she didn't let him speak.

"I'm just like Red Face," she laughed again but this time it was dry. "Gosh, I don't even know his name but I'm just like him except he actually lives in his hell and I don't."