lil peep; i can't see you're falling for me

loving you is like a fairytale, i just cant pick up the phone again

Gus's p.o.v.
a smirk hasn't left me since i left Y/n's house, god her smile. this all is a little crazy, love doesn't exist around here. am I in love with her? did i catch feelings that fucking quickly? i don't really know what love is, to be honest, I'm not sure I've experienced it, but, i think I'm in love with her laugh. right now, though, I'll be lucky if Trace doesn't kill me.

i inwardly chuckled, the only form of death trace will deliver, is a wild string of 'I told you so's, if i tell him about what went down last night. last night. last night. snap out of it, Gus.

"bruh." it was the first words that rolled off his lips when i walked in the door, he looked incredibly annoyed as he leaned back in the studio chair, a mixtape in front of him and sound waves plastered to several laptop screens. "where. in the hell have you been?"

i couldn't help but chuckle again, when he was aggravated, Tracy's 'hell' was more like 'hayaal', he could be quite, 'white' at times. "my bad, i spent the night at y/n's."

"Y/n's?" he looked incredulous, "WHOO-woo" he cat called, "you got it for her man. damn i tell you what bro" he laughed and shook his head, i wasn't amused with the whole thing. what is love?

sitting myself opposite him, i sighed, i let out a breath i forgot i was holding. "do I? like, i dunno what to feel." it was immensely frustrating. maybe I was fucked up, maybe i was a sociopath, maybe i was just flat dumb, but i couldn't identify the feelings i felt around that girl. i just know that my stomach bubbles with little stifles of laughter, and that sometimes my hands wander subconsciously, maybe my chest hurts a little and my heart rate rises, but is it an illness or emotion? that i can't tell.

"listen, don't be so arrogant, you have got it bad for that chick bro, i know you do. i ain't never seen you be with anyone like you be with her." he shook his head and focused his attention back to the work, "just make sure she's no hoe" he chuckled.

this made me angry. i felt my jaw catch, i felt my fists clinch, i felt my tone raise
"she's not a hoe, Tracy."

he looked back with a satisfied look and smiled, "proving my point Bruva, you've got it bad, call her. "

i scoffed at that, you'd think i could easily identify his shenanigans by now, i walked right into the bear trap, but i won't take the fish bait. "i just left her house, I'll call her next week. i don't think she has much feelings anyways, and i don't want to look like an obsessed freak. "

Tracy spun around in his chair, completely facing me with folded hands and the look of a doctor on his face, typical for him. always trying to diagnose my problems. "let me lay out the facts for you. this girl you fuck with, she got maaajor trust issues bruh, she's damaged, that's why it works. you wait two days to call her up, she'll be stressing over you for hours. don't make her guess, call her."

"hypocrite" i chuckled, exchanging a small fist bump, a small one of slight disapproval as  i took my phone on the balcony. it had been awhile since I had been so jittery.

i felt like i was in such a high, floating among the clouds with the comforting smell of marijuana surrounding the fabric of my jacket that the stench had stained. i looked at the clouds, they moved almost as fast as my shaky hands; the clouds always make me dizzy and anxious, moving like that.

my thumb unwillingly pressed 'bambi' , and the phone rang. there was no one on the other line for several moments, but i heard the faint disruption of the silence between rings.

"hello?"

i smiled.  maybe it was her voice, too. it was the kind of comforting thing you couldn't place. "hey Bambi" my grin, 19 miles wide, the kind that you can hear in your voice.

"Gus, what's up?"

my heart caught against itself, and it suddenly came to my recollection why i called her. what the heck am i going to say, "i think I'm.. i think i. i love you; Bambi."

there was an eerie, heart sinking break of momentary silence, at which point i started to hit the end call button, but something stopped me. i heart a faint sigh, the kind of sigh you make, when you suddenly smile. the soft 'huhf'.

"Gus, i don't know anything about anything" she laughed, i melt. "but i don't think I've ever seen anyone like you, i think, i think, if this is what love is, then i want it..too?"

i smiled at my shoes and looked up at the clouds again, "ion know that we'll be alive next week, let's hang now?"

"sure, Gus."
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a/n : you guys I'm so sorry. i haven't wrote much lately because I'm so busy, and not very good at it. i love peep and i love you guys so much. i just really lack inspiration, but i will try to continue this story, if you want. I'm very broken over the death of mac miller, whom I've loved the longest. but I've also fallen deeply in love, so forgive my slow updates please, love always <3